I miss her

Tears rolled down by cheeks tonight as I rocked Elle to sleep. I miss my Mom, I miss my Mom, I miss my Mom, I MISS MY MOM!!!!!!!!! And I miss my Dad so very much too it's just that Mother's day is almost here and I wanted nothing more then to call my Mom to see what she was up to tonight. She'd be watching CSI and would be annoyed I would be interrupting her show. This sucks. 

Mom saved everything and she must have known we would need these things one day. Every time I would go home they would gripe at me to take some of my childhood things back to Cincinnati. I would say no, throw it away, our house is already filled with stuff as it is. She didn't listen...instead she would hide things in my house when they would visit. For example, I found a Christmas musical globe given to me from my Aunt, in my bedroom drawer....I found my girl scout vest with all of my earned patches in my coffee table drawer. I laugh about it now but that stuff was important especially because it was important to her. I should have recognized it then but luckily she didn't give up and now I have a lot of things I know she wanted me to have and look at all along. She even saved our dresses as babies....and she labeled everything in handwritten. 

I found a Mother's day card I made for her about 4 years ago. I made it on the computer and imported several pictures of us kids, Mom and I, Aydan and Dad. Inside I typed, "Happy Mother's day Mom (I was surprised to not see Mommy but I think because it was from both Ted and I)! Hope you have a great day. I can't wait to live closer to you guys even though you will miss the great town of Plymouth! Thanks for being a great Mom. Love ya, Melissa and Ted

Thinking of that minute she took reading that card and stuffing it away somewhere to save makes me feel a little better...she knew I cared but it's not enough to take all of this sadness and wishing they were here away. I miss them so very much and there's nothing I can do about it but to keep moving along.....

Happy Mother's day to my beautiful Mother who should be here today. You are painfully missed so much by so many! 

All my love, 

Melissa