85 and sunny all weekend and another one filled with dinners and friends. I also received a very special package in the mail on Friday-Elle's christening gown that my Aunt worked very hard to refurbish. This dress not only was worn by my siblings and I, some of my cousins, Aunts and Uncles were baptized in it too. I can't help but think how happy this would make my Mom. She would be so proud and for that I am very thankful to my Aunt for her hard work and dedication to keeping this dress in the family. She also made a beautiful blanket with all of the names of who wore the dress. It was sad to see Justin Jerome Olszowy on there. But like all of us, he was baptized and loved.
Ted volunteered this weekend at the MS walk as the official event "photographer". Elle and I did the walk. It was a gorgeous day and as I was walking I was thinking how I wish I had my Mom to walk with me. She was always up for stuff like that. Anything to benefit a good cause, she'd be there if I asked her to be. It's everything I do now, I wish they were here. oh Dad would love this or oh, my Mom loved that. I feel like I'll be saying those words forever.
We also had the pleasure of having our good friend from Michigan pay us a visit. He was in the area for Soccer and came by for dinner. He recently took over the head coach position for the Men's Soccer team at Oakland University and he brought along his new assistant for dinner.
We ate outside in the square and little Miss Elle was a good girl as usual. We are lucky that we can take her to nice restaurants. At least for now. From what my friends tell me, once they can crawl and especially walk-you're done.
Last night we made dinner for our recently engaged friends Todd and Sarah. We drank wine and then enjoyed the best chocolate cake that Sarah brought over. Elle fell asleep in Sarah's arms for pretty much the entire night. It's nice to have girls around that are really good with babies. She just picks Elle up the second she walks in, changes her if needed, fed her a bottle (still working on her bottle feedings....she doesn't love bottles) and covered her legs when it got chilly after the sun went down.
Elle has one more week with the nanny at my girlfriends house and then it's time for Gramma Close to move in! She'll be here for a month and I hope this is a month both of them will never forget. I pray and hope I'm alive and can do the same for Elle's children one day. I want to be involved for every step of the way. I worry because of what I've been through that I'm going to be totally overbearing, an even worse worrier then I already am and super protective. But hopefully in time, she'll just understand. Sorry, I learned the hard and really sad way that your life could end so quickly and I just cannot take any more chances.
Missing you always Mom and Dad. I still have to pinch myself every so often because I will be like, are they really gone? I sometimes like to pretend you're still alive and that I just haven't seen you in a while with living out of State. It's such a crappy feeling when I then realize the truth. You're gone and it still sucks. But we continue to smile and do fun things that make us happy. We really have no choice right? But I do know not everyone that suffers a tragedy is this strong. And I understand, it's difficult every day and yes, the easy way out would be to let this lead us deep into a depressed life but I think my Mom and especially my Dad would be devastated if this ruined our lives. But like I've said before, it's easier said then done. You just do your best. No one can prepare themselves for something like this. And no one can tell me how I should be handling this as I continue to do just the best that I can do. I still have really shitty days but then some days I laugh so hard I'll go a whole hour or two without even thinking about the loss. Hey, that's progress to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment