What helps me a little with my handling my parents death is that they did live. They went places. They vacationed. They spent a lot time with friends and family. I'm sure they had some, but I don't think they had a ton of regrets. I want to live a life like that. Yeah sure, I'd like to retire some day but like my parents, I could die a year later. Imagine if you worked all of your life to retire but then died a year later? What memories do you have in the bank?
I believe in balance. Save for a rainy day, but also know that rainy day may never come and enjoy your life as the only thing you take to the grave are memories. Not your house, millions in the bank, fancy cars........none of that matters. I'm happy that my parents made the trip to Hilton Head or Atlanta whenever they could, they took cruises with their friends, visited Dad's brother in FL since he's been living there in the Winters and I know they had full intentions of traveling much more as the years went on. That's what makes me real sad. My Mom specifically said to me a few months before they died how she couldn't wait to travel more. I feel so sad that she didn't get that chance. I'd give anything to be able to plan a trip with them right now for the Summer. They were up for anything.
But Ted and I will continue taking trips with our friends and family when we can. We live for our yearly vacations and I feel so blessed that I've been on so many awesome trips thus far. I'm really looking forward to Florida, Paris and Ireland this year and I'm also looking forward to the little getaways as we head to my parent's lake this Summer. It will still be really difficult but I'm looking forward to bringing Elle up there. But thinking of that instantly makes me bummed. My parents would have LOVED to have ELLE and all of us up there. I didn't go there enough, the door was always open. Didn't matter how many people were coming. My parents always made room, even if it meant two air mattresses in the living room. "the more the merrier" was their motto and honestly, they have never turned anyone away. They loved a full house, especially up there.
I unfortunately learned in such a sad way how short life is. I never even thought in a million years that I could one day wake up and never again be able to talk to or see my parents. I'm telling you, it can happen--it did. Yeah, I was one of those people too. "It would never happen to me". But it did. My very only family was torn apart. My parents were killed by their Son. My childhood home became a crime scene. My brother was in jail for a year now a medical center.
It really happened to me. We are grieving and I personally will live with a broken heart forever. I'll live on...........Ted and I will continue to make wonderful memories with Elle, our Family and Friends and I will always remember how short life is and I'll never forget to hug my daughter and squeeze her tightly and tell her how much she is loved as that is all I wish I could do to my own Mom and Dad. And I think I will live on wishing that for the rest of my life.
Live, laugh, love..........no one knows how much time we have left......
No comments:
Post a Comment