"change"

Gosh no this is not me now!  Tricked ya huh? This was ME when I was first starting to show during my pregnancy. I was about 5 months along. I'd give a lot to look that way now as I was fit everywhere else but the belly. Boy, do things change. (but, I'll get there again-just wait! But Ted's homemade brownies were just too good to resist today!) 

Last year around this time, things were quite different. My parents were alive and well, happily getting ready for their Key West trip......I certainly wasn't thinking of children just yet, I was in shape and meeting my friend Julie a few times a week at the gym. We'd meet a few mornings and I'd be on the elliptical in the cardio theater room when Julie would arrive. I could smell her perfume before I actually saw her. Ok, maybe it wasn't perfume but it was this candy smelling body spray she must have used in the morning before heading out to the gym. I miss those days.

I went back to the gym for the first time today. I hadn't really been back consistently since my parents died. As I was doing my cardio, I starred out the window, turned on my i-pod and thought to myself, what the heck has happened to me? How have I managed to handle all of this change? I went right to my "running" play list and the very first song that was on there-you'll never guess....Sweet Melissa. Are you kidding me? Why was that on my running play list? Not really a "fire you up" kind of song. I immediately skipped to the next song. No need to cry on my first day back to the gym. 

So, a year later..... my parents are dead, my brother's in a medical facility, my friend Julie (a.k.a.-work out partner) has moved to New York and I am now a Mother to a beautiful daughter. What? Who's life is this? 

So much has changed. And yet, I keep on moving. I really have no choice then to adapt, although feeling sad about it, and continue living my life to the fullest. It's no longer just about ME (and Ted) it's all about ELLE and no matter what changes I have faced this past year, she is relying on me to be the greatest Mom ever, just as my Mommy was to me. 

I miss you more then ever Mom and Dad, help us get through another year......help us get through all of this change.......