The way we once were

The News Herald called me today to ask me if I would like to comment on the Judge's decision for Justin. Because they did such a wonderful memorial article on my Parents and they came into Mom's  home to highlight her baking abilities a few years ago, I said yes. 

It's a hard question to answer as there are so many mixed emotions. First of all, and I think I speak for most of my family members (not all),  is we feel blessed that everyone in the court system from both sides were in agreement with what we already knew was true in our hearts. This was not Justin and he is not guilty, by reason of insanity. While this is good news for Justin to not have to go to jail, it is also an incredibly sad sentence. It was preventable. This act was preventable and no matter what the sentence is, my parents are still gone and the tragedy can never be undone.

With this sentence, I am left with questions and uncertainty. How long will he be there? How long will he be safe? Could he ever possibly recover from this? Although it was an illness, could I ever fully forgive him for taking away the two most important people in my life?  Only time will tell- but for now, I must be thankful he is at least being removed from jail and on his way to hopefully a place of healing and most importantly, acceptance of what he has done and acceptance for his new life.  What would Mom and Dad want? I often ask myself. The pain this has caused us would put them in misery if they knew. Yet, I will never forget how much Mom stuck up for Justin and how much she trusted and loved him.  This was her Son.....no matter what. There is a level of unconditional love parents have for their children.......I am just saddened someone she loved so deeply and brought into this world, ended her and my Dad's wonderful life.  I miss my Family...."the way we once were" .