The cemetary

I've made several trips to the cemetery since Mom and Dad have been gone, but the hardest trip was the one made on Sunday before heading back to Cincinnati. The grave marker had been put into the ground many, many weeks ago but I kept putting it off to go see it. I certainly do not need their grave to remember or even think of them as they are on my mind 24-7 and I do not anticipate that changing anytime soon. Although a baby will bring so much joy to our lives, I worry about the sadness I will feel not being able to share that experience with my Mom and Dad. I got to see how they were with a grandchild through 5 years with Aydan. And being the oldest, my Mom couldn't wait until I would one day have kids.



Going to the cemetery when the site was just grass wasn't as bad as I had imagined. I'd bring flowers and say a prayer but reality never hit me. The reality came when I saw my parents names, dates and the words-loving parents. If there would have been room, we would have listed so many other things...loving grandparents, loving sister, loving brother, loving son, loving daughter, loving friend, loving cousin...to sum up someones memory in a few words can never be done especially two individuals like Mom and Dad.



My Aunt Kim met me at the cemetery and we cried together as we starred down at their names. What happened this year? Could this really be true? My Mother and Father, and your big Sister and Brother-n-law who were everything to you and I are gone? How can this be? By my own brother, who loved them just as much? You just stop, look around, take a deep breath and wonder how the heck you ever got from there to here. And you just hope one day you can find peace, accept what happen and know they are in a wonderful place. But when the tears are falling fast and you still find yourself in disbelief, you wonder if you will ever get there....


A place of rest, certainly not the end I hope and pray........

I apologize if putting the above picture on my blog saddens any of my family but with many of you living out of State, I wanted to share this with you. My Mother took Aydan to Grandma's grave last year on Mother's day and she actually took a picture of Aydan by the grave so I know Mom wouldn't mind. I love you all and thank you for all you to do to honor my parents memory. I hope I can continue making all of you and especially my parents above- proud of the person I was, the person I am now and the mother that I will become.

With love,

Melissa