therapy at it's finest

I am so tired of drama....I feel like it's always something.....nothing is ever "simple" or easy.  My therapist is right. I have to lower expectations or I am setting myself up to be let down and saddened for years to come.  She said some very meaningful things during the hour today. here are just a few that I am truly trying to digest, understand and use. A mix of some things my therapist and I said today......

• This tragedy was horrible- and this sadness you will carry for the rest of your life but do your best to recognize it but try not to focus a lot of energy on it- focus on the good memories you had. (This sounds so easy yet I fight the thought of how they died daily...I would love to think of only the good stuff. )
• Being at the lake is hard because I know how much my Mom and Dad would have loved having all of their family gather. Again, recognize it but then get excited that wow, look at what my parents have instilled in us and how critically important friends and family are and how their spirit lives within us. 
• Expectations of what someone should or shouldn't say, do or shouldn't do-- they will never understand. never to the extent to which you and your Sister and family do. People have to move on. Surround yourself by people that have and will continue to support you no matter what. There will be people who will help you keep their memory alive. 
• Anger/depression/sadness- when it comes over you- I want you to take several deep breaths.    
• Stop saying your inlaws are "all we have left" or else you will be let down and all your needs will never be met- what about your Aunts and Uncles that are in your life even more now- take trips with them, visit them. What about your Sister, and what about these cousins you talk about on the East Coast and your Grandfather at the lake and these amazing friends you have. Friends become family in these situations.  No one will EVER replace the void of your parents and the pain but you do have people out there to continue making memories with and to help carve out this family life you so badly crave.  Be closer with YOUR Aunts and Uncles and Sister. Guess what Melissa- they DO understand. They are the only ones that come close to "getting it".  (yes, but some don't want to talk about it. It's hard for them. Some want to try and block it out. My Grandfather can't face it- but then I think to myself- who could face this? Could anyone I know bury both of their parents at a young age as a result of this? Could anyone else be okay after burying their Daughter and Son-in-law??? I struggle with this).          

She helped me so much (for today at least). I felt better after I left (although no sooner then an hour later more drama was brought into my life that of course I had to stick my little nose in ). But after all this I still find myself alone (she pointed out that is why I do and think a lot of the things that I do because I AM lonely due to missing my Parents and MY family unit) and thinking of the future without them. (SO normal she repeated) She continued to say try your best to not focus on the future without them or it will kill you inside. Every milestone/event/etc will have sadness but then sweetness. This is the truth but I need to do my best recognizing it then moving onto "but thanks MOM, I am a great MOM because of you, look at what you instilled in me".   

Sounds all great right?  Sorry....for anyone that is reading this post....it is probably so hard to follow. I literally just write what I am thinking and was trying to share a session that was so beneficial to me in the given moment and it started to make sense yet a few hours later, I still feel the empty broken heart and very plain and simply stated- I miss my Mom and Dad.  Thanks for the support..........Melissa