An Olszowy

One of my dearest friends, who I know reads my blog from time to time is probably going to be so mad if I quote some of the beautiful things she wrote to me in a recent letter. But I have to. When I do sit down typing away my thoughts for the day or week I generally don't have to think more then a few seconds about what I will write about. It comes rather naturally when you have a lot of pain yet joy- as you're watching a mini you (or, a mini Ted as we often refer to her as) grow up.... But back to the letter. My friend, who is a teacher, is a really, really good writer. We've teased her to write a book. She's too busy I assume. She's a new Mom as well and coaches and so on.....but I admire her writing and I admire her even more when she writes to her friends handwritten letters. As I read the one she sent to me this week, I felt as if she was sitting right in front of me. It was as if we were sharing a glass of wine together and she was telling me from a "friend's perspective" of this tragedy. Her words were honest and so true and I thank her for taking a moment to reflect on what happened and for giving me a pep talk to give me a moment of peace. Just for a moment. 

I kept re-reading the letter over and over. I was trying to cook for Elle (or re-heat as I should say, Ted did the cooking and left it in the fridge to heat when we got home) and get her situated but I continued to pick the letter back up to read it again. I tend to do that with cards I have received lately. I read them several times before I put them away. 

A few things that she wrote stood in my mind for hours and I knew what I have always known with several of my friends that have been by my side through this mess is that she's a lifelong friend and supporter of this. She didn't forget after year one and she won't ever forget. I know this. This loss is a part of my life forever and my true friends have accepted that this comes along with my friendship now. I know I have withdrawn from some people. But if nothing is said, I push away....right or wrong, no one taught me how to handle something like this. None of us are equipped to handle this normally. There's just no way. 

She wrote: 

"I myself seem to deny the horror of your loss. Therefore, I know I have truly no idea about how hard life must be for you. And for this I am so sorry. " "Your parents, your Sister and yourself are the type of people that make all of those around you happy. The Olszowy's go out of their way for others. The Olszowy's are role models. The Olszowy's are friends with everyone. I wish I was more like you Mel and your parents. " 

Well I don't know about all that my friend but I will be forever thankful you got to spend a weekend with my family at the lake and seeing who they really were as people, friends and parents. They had a lot of fun, always had a smile on their face and I hope and believe they made you feel comfortable and welcome. When I was up at the lake a few weekends ago, I came across a picture of that weekend and we were dancing in the kitchen with my Mom and then we were all gathered on the boat.....my friends, the Close family, my sister, and my parents. I literally had it all that weekend and you were a part of it. Now that I think about it. I think even Justin was there. 

And so to my favorite part of the letter.... It hurts yet warms my heart like the biggest, longest hug from a true, loyal friend. 

And she wrote: 

"Your parents live on in the memories of hundreds or even thousands of people. And I know from experience that these memories bring joy and laughter. What an amazing legacy. Even a more amazing legacy lies with you and your sister. Just being you, just being an Olszowy makes the world you live in a better and more happy place". 

Thanks for thinking of the darkness yet remembering the happiness and what they left behind...

Your friend, an Olszowy for life, 

Melissa