cheers to old friends.

Good friends, good food and good wine......all that was needed for a fantastic weekend that was much needed. This month will always be an even more emotional one so any ounce of distraction I can get,  I will take.  But this was so much more then a distraction. It was a really, really good time. 

The weekend with friends kicked off on Thursday when our friend Eric, who we went to WMU with, arrived to stay with us while in town for recruiting. With Thursday being Mom's birthday, we shared a bottle of wine, toasted to her life, and had some of the birthday cake I had made. We were thrilled he was in town for the weekend..... Then on Friday I picked up my fabulous girlfriend, also a WMU alumni, and her husband. Molly hadn't met Elle yet or ever saw our home so I was super excited to welcome them to Cincy. We grabbed lunch in Hyde Park Square and then headed back to the house so they could unpack and then Mols and I went up to Elle's school to pick her up- she loved her school and it was fun to have my friend along with me to see where Elle spends the majority of her time during the week. She even got to admire her "artwork" displayed around her classroom. 

The rest of the weekend was spent doing some fun things.....my most favorite memory was enjoying an amazing dinner at one of Cincinnati's yummiest restaurants and while it was pricey, it was worth every penny.... from the several bottles of wine and the many toasts to friends to the grilled Cesar salad that I loved to the Boca filet and then to the grand finale when all of us passed around some pretty spectacular desserts to share.....it was so yum. Elle was home with a babysitter, one of her teachers from school, and I felt at ease that she was safe and asleep. I really enjoyed myself.  

Although my picnic at the park lunch was squashed due to some rain, we were able to get a little shopping in around the square and we took Elle to a little butterfly exhibit while the boys caught a Red's game. Then Saturday evening we stayed in, opened up some more wine and Ted cooked us a great meal and finished it off with a homemade molten chocolate cake. It was a great meal to end the weekend with our friends. 

As I was rocking Elle tonight though, I still found myself sad. I have everything else anyone could ever want in life. More then most would ever dream of when I think of my career, home, travels I have been on, dinners I have enjoyed, friends who care, a healthy beautiful daughter and a husband that can cook kick ass meals, I still feel incredibly lonely. I feel a huge hole in my heart and an emptiness that I think I have accepted will always be there. Elle had a great weekend and LOVED the visitors (and the attention) but ended her weekend with a 102 temp and while she'll be fine, I felt like I didn't have anyone to call. Of course I could have called friends and yes, I told my Sister but it's just not the same. I wanted to call my Mom. I want that comfort and unconditional love and care. It's been two years that I haven't been able to pick up that phone to call her or Dad and I have to say, that won't ever get easier. 

I really admire my girlfriend Molly mainly for her independence (how she has started her own life, traditions, and memories in the DC area) and success--but also for her honesty and class. I look forward to more memories with all of my friends who spent the weekend with us and never forgetting the time we have spent together thus far.... all the way back to the days at WMU through today.... We have a lot stored in the memory bank and one of the biggest ways I know to continue honoring my parents lives is making the time to spend with friends. I am proud to say I do this. I may not be the best friend of all times but I know and I feel comfortable within myself- that I always have and always will- make the effort.  I was taught well.