better day

The day has turned around. I was so angry and sad leaving the doctors appt today after they told me I am still officially 39 weeks even though the due date I was given was June 8th....they say its still the 13th so another week or so of waiting. I was just feeling rushed and some pressure knowing my Sister in law is also due and I want her to have Ted's parents there yet knowing how badly we needed her for Elle and then Teddy needed to travel for work next week. Things will work out. This along with my parents death and many other things in life, I cannot control.....I can only hope for the best outcome and trust it will work out as hard as it may be. After some crying and blaming my parents death on why I felt rushed that this child needed to be here since I know if they were alive they could be here and I would feel so much more relaxed......I started receiving special little gifts.......first, a package from my Aunt (my Mom's sister) who is amazingly talented and makes the most beautiful things- she sent another two special blankets and some other fun goodies for the new arrival as well as presents for the big sis to be. After that, a playhouse arrived in our backyard for the big sis to be from her only Grandparents....this will be helpful and fun for Elle- she will love it and then, a special care package from a friend that lives in DC who has been a supportive friend throughout the highs and lows of a pregnancy.....she sent a book that has a ton of humor (I told her how depressing parentless parents was!), a CD with beautiful songs to sing to the baby that she enjoyed with her Son, Henry, and an adorable onsie......I also had newborn diapers left on my porch from a friend and my favorite bronzer arrived for free after I submitted a claim last week that it continued to break on me......it was interesting that all of this stuff arrived today to cheer me up. It was just a nice feeling to know despite of what I may still face and probably always will, I am SO loved (ok, maybe the brand cargo doesn't "love" me but they value me as a customer...haha). I know this. Of course I am. My parents had wonderful family and friends and now I have the same.......a mother's love can never be replaced, but today after sobbing for about an hour......I can start my evening with a smile knowing they are beaming with joy that I have this support during a time they wish they could be here.....while I know they would be heartbroken some of my Family still struggles and haven't reached out as much....I know they are sending down good thoughts that they need their time and that hopefully they will come around and give back our family some of that strength we always have had.

I cannot rush this baby boy anymore.....he is not ready to come out yet and I need to let happen, just happen. We will be okay and have great friends here in Cincinnati that love us and would help us out if we needed it. We will be just fine.....