notes

It's the little things that brighten up a day....but meaningful things that warm your heart and even make you laugh a little too....

I've been having nightmares again and just very vivid dreams. They always impact my day. Always regarding my parents, my brother, guns, and they rotate my really close friends in and out of them. Today when I got the mail, in addition to the Holiday catalogs and bills, there were two cards written out to me that I was excited to open. First was a postcard from one of my best girlfriends, who clearly knows I am a tad stressed over this "dust"...her post card said on the front "I dreamt my whole house was clean" and she wrote inside (reminding me that there is a light at the end of THIS tunnel) that a beautiful kitchen is coming soon. Thanks friend....

And then I opened the second card, not recognizing the handwriting, and began to read such beautiful, thoughtful words. I had given my therapist a copy of my book the last time I saw her and she took the time to write me a quite lengthy note about how touching it was and how she wish she would have met my parents and how handsome of a couple they were and how she has gotten to know them through me and how very proud they ARE........she was so thankful I shared this with her. She has been a wonderful blessing to my life and at times maybe even the only person that fully understands what I am facing. She herself said she could never imagine something so horrific yet I have explained to her my inner most thoughts, fears, anger and sadness....and I think she gets it. She continues to tell me that I have down a remarkable job. Yes, yes, I know........but it doesn't take the sadness away? I'm just one of the lucky, tough ones.......but it doesn't make it any easier.

What two beautiful notes to cheer up my day and to make me feel important. Much love to two special ladies in my life....

Tomorrow is a big day for miss Elle. At 21 months old, she will get her very first haircut. While she doesn't have a ton of hair, it is simply growing out and covering up her eyes so I will take her to see my Maria that I have been going to for the last 4 years.....this should be interesting.

Much love,

Melissa