Wednesday, February 10, 2010

single parent


I am counting down the days for when Ted will be back home. I give all single Moms- including my Sister a lot of credit. It's a lot of work to do it on your own.....cooking, cleaning, bathing, taking the dog out, packing her lunch for the next day (which isn't a P & J Sandwich....steam the vegetables, bake the chicken, boil the pasta, cut it into perfectly bite size pieces) and of course we would get a ton of snow when Ted was away which would require me to learn how to shovel and get my car out. I was thankful this morning though as Elle slept in until 7am which allowed me to get up and shower and clean my car off and get her stuff ready for daycare all before she woke up. If she could sleep like that every morning, we could get everything done and not feel so rushed.

I also had a wonderful visit yesterday from my friend Reagan and her husband Heath. She had to be in town for work and with the weather she decided to bring along her husband and dog, which we had to hide from Gracie. Don't even ask how we pulled this off. They arrived around 7pm and I think they were just as shocked as I was that I had chili waiting for them on the stove (from the girl who never cooks), with the toppings set out in little ramekins, homemade guacamole and chips and wine set out ready to be sipped. They actually liked it.....so as I was telling my girlfriend and then Ted this morning, maybe I could survive a few days without my husband. I would just prefer not to though.... Reagan always has a way to make me smile. She is such a caring and wonderful friend. I am lucky to have had her through this nightmare but then through all of the joyful things too.

My Grandfather called me yesterday and he will staying in Cincinnati for a few days next week on their way to Florida. I am so thrilled to show him our home and to spend some time with him. The last Fall my parents were alive, my Grandfather and Eve had plans to come with my parents for my fake thanksgiving gathering. We were so excited and then he got sick and they had to cancel last minute. I remember my Mom and Dad were so bummed. They were so close and my Dad and Grandfather were more friends then anything. Their relationship reminded me very much of Ted and my Dad's relationship. They picked on each other and had a great time together. I really miss seeing them laugh. I worry about my Grandfather and how he has dealt with losing my Mom and Dad. He doesn't talk about it much. I have pictures of them everywhere. I don't want to make him even more sad. Losing a child that way has got to be so painful. Just as painful as it is for me but in a different way. I hope I bring him some peace knowing that I am part of her just as he brings me peace seeing him and knowing he the closet thing I have left of my Parents. It still makes me sad every single day that they are missing all of this. Every single family event, visit and celebrations just really bum me out. I do know how proud they would be that we continue to make family and friends a priority. I was taught well.

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