thanks for thinking of me

I received one of the nicest text messages today but it was heartbreaking at the same time for me. One of my girlfriends thought of me twice today, one was due to hearing the song Sweet Melissa, which everyone knows was one of my Dad's favorites and the song that we danced to at my wedding. I'd like to think it was one of his proudest moments. Secondly was when she said goodbye to her Parents today. They were visiting for a month and as she shed tears saying goodbye, and most of them, she said, was due to thinking of me and my Parents. It was so sweet of her to think of them and how she knows how much I would give to be able to spend a month with them. I don't have those options anymore....

People have to go back to living their lives, no matter how tragic something is, of course and cannot always think of my Family and I. I don't want that but I gotta tell you how good it feels that people recognize how difficult this really is. They won't ever understand the magnitude of the pain and sadness and learning how to cope with such a thing, but when just for a moment, they think of me and how much it would hurt if they didn't have their Parents alive to share their life with. It's a nightmare actually but I am learning to just live with it. Not saying it's getting any better at all as I miss them almost more and more every day, but you learn to keep going with the sadness. Some days are better then others. My Aunt and I were emailing......and both agreeing that some days you start "thinking" and you just sit there, almost in a zone, almost crippled, with such a heavy heart and you are so overwhelmed with the sadness and missing them--you can't even move. Then you get up and go...

Thank you for thinking of me today, friend. It means a lot that you recognize this great difficulty and that you appreciate even more now, the time spent with your own Parents. I'd give anything to do the same. I wish I learned earlier how precious each day really was. But I do feel my time was well spent. I cherish the big memories but some days, I cherish the smallest things, like leaving my Parents goofy, long voicemail messages or calling my Mother and changing my voice pretending to be someone else. I miss my Mother's giggle and my Father's annoyance when I would call as he was burning his hands trying to cook and talk on the phone at the same time.


Missing you always Mom and Dad,
Melissa