almost a year old

 It's hard to believe then in a little over a week, Miss Elle will already be turning a year old.

I cannot believe a year already went by. It seems like yesterday that Ted and I were in the hospital, scared out of our mind, trying to figure out how to feed this child. Funny thing is, we're still figuring that out. I think the whole feeding thing will continue to be challenging. You always question if they're getting enough. I really enjoyed breastfeeding, but when I was finished after 4 months, I actually loved formula feeding because I knew how many ounces she was getting. Then when solid food comes into the picture, you can see how much she is eating. But then you're concerned if you're giving her the right foods, the best foods, etc. We've stuck to Organic and now we are easing our way on to table foods. Sooo challenging. Milk is so much easier and some pureed vegetables. Tonight we are trying Avocados smashed and mango chicken quesadillas-sp? on whole wheat tortillas. We'll see how she does. I just need to start trying things and get over this fear of choking. 

And cow's milk in another week or two, yikes! She loves her warm bottles! It will always be something. 

I'm proud of us. For her first year, we did okay. We had too. We got very lucky and had Ted's Mom watch her for a month when I went back to work and a week or two here and there, but for the most part, we've been figuring it out on our own. Not the way that I had ever planned or hoped. Always thought Mom would help lead the way. I  miss her every day and I still have to pinch myself when I realize she never got to see me as a Mother. It would have been her greatest joy. It just kills me. I am thankful for my girlfriends and other Family that have lended an ear, a word of advice and some encourgement when needed. Sadly, no advice is like your Mother's. Though, I know I would have roller my eyes at half the stuff she would have told me I should be doing. But I missed out on this and for that I remain bummed. She'd be so proud. 

This weekend we were home at last. Dinner with friends on Friday, we finally have a Mexican restaurant in our neighborhood. Saturday, Ted went to the Bengals playoff game. Sadly they're already out. Elle and I walked across the street and watched the game with 2 of my girlfriends and their babies. Elle had a great time with her little buddies. She is officially a mover-not walking yet, just standing up against everything. The days of relaxing, sipping wine while chatting with the girls are over. Someone was always getting up to grab something away, make sure they were "sharing" or preventing one of them from a fall, etc. I love having Mommies and children to hang out with especially when we don't have any family around or our friends that have been our friends for years near us.  I could call Cincinnati home for a while but we shall see....