outside

Fresh air does everybody some good. Elle and I were able to go on a long walk today due to the recent change in weather. 61 degrees in Cincinnati today. You can almost smell Spring in the air. While I cannot wait for it to be Spring, I'm also scared for it to arrive. The change in weather, the Spring scent in the air, instantly brings me back to the day that I found out. That day now has a certain smell to it. I know that sounds strange but it really does. It was a warm, Sunny, beautiful day that turned out to be the worst day of my life. 

Elle has really switched a lot of my broken heart sadness to such positive thoughts and the hope for a bright, wonderful future. But nothing will ever be the same. Every day no matter how wonderful it is, I always say how I wish they were here. They want to meet her too. 

I've been so lucky to not suffer from post partum depression. I was nervous about that, especially with everything that happened and missing my Parents so badly, I figured with how overwhelming a baby would be, I was a sure candidate. But to my surprise, I am going on quite nicely. Sure, there are always days of anger and sadness and being generally bummed but I've been really lucky to have an awesome support group of loving family and friends. They really care and have not stopped spoiling ELLE! The UPS guy must wonder who the heck is this Elle chick that continues to get cute packages?!! 

Staying home has been great, but I will admit of boredom. I am used to a schedule, working out and being challenged at work. I miss work but I know April 13th will be here before I know it so I am trying to enjoy every minute with Elle as you can never get this time back ever again..........it's really amazing to have your own child because I really do understand the love my Mother had for me now.