one month

Elle is one  month old today. If this is any indication as to how fast she will grow and time will fly, I better enjoy and document every minute of the time I have with her. 

I was thinking today as I was holding her. How can I teach her to enjoy every minute she has with me as she gets older, because I know I went through "that stage" where parents were uncool. I argued with Mom about clothes, boys and curfews. I regret ever upsetting my Mom although I know I brought her more smiles then tears. But, I'm sad now because I miss my Mom every minute and I guess what I'm trying to say is, I never want Elle to be sad that she misses me or regrets being mean to me or remembers about a specific instant where she may have upset me (like when I upset my Mom over the Martini shirt and earrings). I want her to grow enjoying "us" and then being at peace when we're gone. I think to myself, I could be gone at age 50 just like my Mom. God forbid as tragically, but I could certainly be gone. Yes, it's a rather morbid thought but I never imagined in a million years that my Mother and Father would be gone at such a young, vibrant age and so quickly that I didn't get to say thank you. Thank you for being the most incredible parents and for leaving me with such gifts. 

Kids are kids and they don't know what they don't know and often don't appreciate certain things until they're older. How can I take what I've been through and teach her early on in life what's important so we can avoid those "clothing" arguments. 

Ted's middle brother Tommy and his girlfriend Jess visited this weekend from FL. We had a great time relaxing around the house. We took them for a late lunch in Hyde Park Square and then Ted's Mom joined us yesterday and Ted cooked us a Mexican feast with his homemade Sangria and all. I'm so excited to share with Elle one day of all the pictures taken in her first month of life and all of the visitors she had to welcome her to the world. 

Mom and Dad, I want you here so badly just to hang out with. It really just stinks. The entire family just misses you terribly. We have no option other then to keep on moving along, I know you'd be proud of us but I know you miss us too. If your allowed to miss us...wherever you are......

Justin seems to be doing okay in his new place. We are so lucky he is safe and currently being taken care of much better then a prison. I think this is what you would want. I miss Justin too. Every day is a constant reminder that I have essentially lost all three of you.