"Happy" Fall

Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water. ~Antoine Rivarol

On Saturday, I would say I let out a little too much water. I was overly emotional as Ted and I were heading down to my parents house to mow the lawn. I couldn't stop crying and it worsened as we pulled up to the house. Someone who must love and know my Mother very well, decorated her front door with a beautiful Fall wreath and some fun Halloween/Fall decor. They know my Mom's outside was festive as can be for every single Holiday and Season change and they wouldn't let them not being there- stop this tradition.

That was confirmed to me as I walked through my parents garage to pick through some of her Fall things that I may like to take home with me. One step at a time. She was so adorable and had everything organized by Season, already had Happy Halloween plates and napkins ready to be used for this year. Just by going through this stuff you could see how fun spirited she was. This was a woman of happiness that got pure joy out of the different seasons and holidays and it saddens me because the world needs more of these people. She had fun with it and so many forget that having fun is sometimes the most important thing in life to do.

So as Ted finished mowing the lawn, I packed up a few Fall things to take home with me and came across a small box that read "Melissa and Christina's baby dresses". I opened it to find 3 lovely little dresses in pink, red and blue. The blue one read "I love you Grandma". It looked handmade. I know there are so many more treasures I will find but it's so very hard each and every time I go to that house, or up-north because not only were my parents full of life, their house was too. I often teased my Mother, which I now regret, that she had too much "stuff". And now I find this stuff putting a smile on my face. That is, after the tears have been dried up.

After we got back today after a nice long vacation and a weekend back in MI, I started getting my own house ready for the Fall. My fall wreath, my leaf tablecloth (which happily holds a stain from my Father from last November, he even said, "you'll look at it when I am gone and cry"-he literally said this to me last year when he spilled on my table), and of course my pumpkin scented hand soap and candles are out.....

but a part of me wishes I could close my eyes and wake up and it be January 2009. As sad as it is for me to say this, I wish I could pass up the Holidays this year. Just this year. Can my Sister and I have a "Happy" Thanksgiving or a "Merry" Christmas this year? Without my Mom, Dad and Brother? Will we have to put on fake smiles and laughter or will we make it through with strength and courage with the love of other Family members who know how tough the Holidays will be?

Let's just get through Halloween for now.

Happy Fall to my festive, loving, full of spirit parents........

Melissa