my last trip~

I am on my last leg of my travels this week...flew into Portland yesterday, drove to Seattle today and fly home tomorrow. My last air travel until after the baby is born! This work trip I've been very lucky to be joined by two wonderful co-workers. Both who will be helping cover my accounts while I'm on maternity leave. We've had a great time over the past two days, the Fall is beautiful in the Northwest. One of the co-workers attended my shower so the event has continuously came up and how beautiful and wonderful it was. She observed something that I also realized once it was over on how wonderful it was to see my family together-happy given everything we have gone through. We've talked a lot on this trip about work of course, but also about our friends and family and life in general. I've said over and over how lucky I am to have the relationships I do with my friends and family. The friends that I have right now, I am positive will be my friends till the end. When you go through the greatest tragedy of your life and they are by your side for the sad but then come right around again to support you during the happy times is just proof that they are in your life for good. And I am forever thankful for that.

The baby shower was one of those events, like a wedding, that you truly remember for a lifetime.

I'll never forget the beautiful place and the decorations, what I wore, what I ate, the people that I hugged and all the wonderful gifts that were received.

Some more of my favorite pictures from the weekend.....

My Western Michigan girls and one MSU girl!

My Sis, cousin Trac, Aunt Lisa, Me, Aunt Kim, cousin Brittney

and the girls above who pulled everything together the day of the shower and stayed by my side all weekend! All wonderful ladies in very special ways.

The "man" room which included my brother-in-law-Jay, our best pal Nick, Dad to be, my dear Grandpa, our cousin Scott (Dad Close and Christina's Matt were missing in the photo). I am sure it was not exactly how they wanted to spend their Saturday but I saw them sneaking in the main event room and head for the candy station. It meant a lot having them there. If Dad were alive, he would have been there no doubt so the men in my life were not getting off the hook. I think they enjoyed themselves...

You know it was a special event when days after it ended- it's still on your mind........

hats, a ring and a room filled with friends and family

Some may say I didn't have the most typical baby shower. (yes, there were Men there!) But in my world, there is no longer the typical anything.

Looking back on my day yesterday, if I had to choose one word to describe it, it would have to be magical. From the moment upon entering, the celebration was over the top and perfectly decorated by my Mother-n-law, Sister and dear friends. Brown satin bows tied perfectly on every chair, hot apple cider being passed by servers, an elaborate chocolate/candy/cookie station for the guests to enjoy (thank you Mel), a painted sign by my cousin Beth, a two tiered adorable polka dot cake that color coordinated with the fabric on the candy station, monogrammed napkins and chocolate Hershey bars, gorgeous pink hydrangea and rose centerpieces, pictures on a ribbon of mom, dad and I when I was born and a young child, and last by not least a room filled with my most favorite people in the entire world.

The only thing missing from this beautiful day was my Parents. It was almost surreal experiencing it without my Mom right by my side. Watching me open my gifts or hugging and kissing family, taking pictures and laughing. I can tell you it was not easy, but I made a commitment to myself that I would not cry and that I would save the tears for another day.

And I did just that, however my commitment was almost broken when my Sister, who never speaks in front of a large group, surprised me with a few words. She went into how beautiful I looked and all that mushy Sister stuff but then started talking about my Dad....I instantly was like uh-oh, don't freak out Melissa. I listened to her words and felt my Father's wedding ring that had been melted into two rings for her and I, slip on to my finger......that is all I am going to say about that moment but it was wonderful, sad, yet happy at the same time.

I told my Sister to please don't go crazy on the gifts since she was taking care of the cookie favors for the guests. Why did I bother even saying anything? She spoiled the baby with shoes, tons of trendy little clothes, a sling to carry the baby around, a little newborn bathing system and so much more. I have a very generous Sister with an amazingly huge heart. But she still does not listen to me! (had to throw that one in there)

The gifts were amazing Mom and Dad. You wouldn't believe the generosity of friends and family. I was so overwhelmed with the amount of things that were given to us as just being with everyone was honestly enough. Mom, your sister Lisa (my Aunt), who I knew knit throughout her life but did not know the level of talent she had, shocked me with some pretty amazing handmade things. I could seriously write a book on the thoughtful things she knitted for the baby- box after box presented a new surprise to my eyes, a hat collection with flowers! a beautiful blanket! a sweater, hat and scarf set that it is out of a movie and a collection of embroidered burp cloths that I am scared to even use! Just gorgeous things that I cannot stop looking at.

There are just way too many special things to list. We got the necessities needed to get ready for the baby and some beautiful things to make the room look stunning.

Gathering with my family and friends have always meant so much to me but since losing Mom and Dad, it now means even more. I wish yesterday could have lasted for days.....why do we spend too little of time with the people we love the most? I hope to never have that regret. I know my parents didn't. I will be forever grateful for the wonderful women in my life who all contributed to the shower in so many special ways to make it such an unforgettable day. I love you all and I am positive my Parents are smiling down on us.

Although the future will continue to bring some sadness and loneliness without my Mom and Dad, I can tell you one thing and that is we have the best of friends and the best of family to introduce Baby Close to and they will forever remain the center of our universe. Distance, time, hockey schedules/ballet lessons, or cost will never keep us from continuing to make the memories with the people we love the most. Thank you to so many for being on this roller coaster of a ride this year. We couldn't do it without you and I couldn't do it without thinking of my Mom and Dad each and every day knowing they just want me to be happy.

What an amazing baby shower and what an amazing weekend............I love you all my dear friends and family~

It's finally here!

It's really hard to believe that the baby shower weekend has arrived. It seems like yesterday when I was in Chicago telling my friends the news and now I await the arrivals of some very special people to get here for the weekend. Tomorrow night my Mom's side of the family and my Sister, Aydan and I will gather at the hotel to be together. My Mom's Sister Aunt Lisa and cousin Tracy are coming in from Texas and Grandpa and Eve are driving from up-north. Aunt Kim and the kids will be there too. I am really looking forward to all being together and I know my Family is looking forward to a fun weekend without any sadness, just good memories. But I know in my heart that there will be a tremendous void this weekend and that is Mom and Dad won't be there. I've been preparing myself for weeks for this event and how I'll handle myself as I greet all of our family and friends Saturday morning-where only 6 short months ago I was greeting them with tears as they walked in the funeral home.

What a story I think to myself. Mom and Dad; young, healthy and beautiful.......killed. My brother who did it certainly did not want to do it and now there's me...a devastated daughter goes away to St. John a month after they died and comes back pregnant. What a blessing in disguise. I am not sure how these past 6 months would have went had I not been pregnant. It has allowed me to re-focus some of my sadness into something so exciting. Now I am having a girl, have had a perfect pregnancy so far (thank you Mom) and am sitting here awaiting to be surrounded by all of the people I enjoy most. But it won't be easy- I know this. My Mother was the life of the party and even tomorrow as I gather with her family..we'll laugh and have a great time but her voice, laughter and pure happiness will be so terribly missed. Same with Dad, no one can or ever will replace his humor.

Like I have for the past several months, I will somehow pull through this weekend with such strength that I'll even shock myself. I will smile, laugh and enjoy all of the people around me and feel really lucky that they are all here to celebrate the upcoming life of a little girl that is going to be so special to so many. She will truly be a gift from Mom and Dad.....

Mom, I never in a million years thought I would be attending my baby shower without you there. It's surreal and it saddens me more then anyone will ever know or understand. The relationship you and I had was priceless, irreplaceable and one that I only hope will carry on to my relationship with my own daughter. I will think of you and Dad all weekend but I know you are proud of me that I am gathering everyone together. Just what you and Dad did best.

All my love,
Melissa

a long flight

I used my Dad's luggage for my trip to LA and it's incredible because I can still smell the strong scent of his cologne when I open it up. I know it won't last forever but I'll enjoy it while I still can. Unfortunately my conditioner exploded in the carry on so any scent of cologne in that bag is gone.

The flight was really long today, 4 1/2 hours....the book I brought was not interesting so I couldn't get past the 1st chapter which rarely happens to me, I did a little work and read one trash magazine. There was a really nice lady sitting next to me who was asking me about my pregnancy and was recommending I got up and walk around a little bit. I love free advice...only kidding, when it comes to the pregnancy I will take it all. I am too laid back I think and I just kind of go with the flow on this pregnancy thing-to me there really isn't anything to it YET......I am crossing my fingers the next three months are as great as the past months have been.

Then of course parents always come up. Whether it's....do your parents live close by to help or is this the first grandchild in your family? What do I say? Of course talking to a stranger I am not going to get into my life story but I also don't like lying either and I get sad because I miss talking about my parents. I want to say, yes my Mom lives 4 hours away and she will be there whenever I need her or no, our daughter will be the second grandchild on my side but the 1st girl!! The women next to me had to be in her early 40's and had two daughters-ages 13 & 15. She referenced her Mom in a sentence and all I could think of was-lucky her...she still has her Mom well into her 40's and she is watching her girls grow. I am so envious of this it's not even funny.

I know all of these feelings I am having are normal but that doesn't make them any easier. However, who defines what normalcy is when someone goes through such a tragic event? Honestly, if I stayed in my house for the past 6 months-maybe to some that would be normal given the severity of everything. But I would have never let that happen because that would have disappointed my parents tremendously. I need to continue to be the person they created me to be.

I love what this speaker said last week, he was referring to a man who lost his daughter when she was only 19 in a terrible car accident. He said he loves to be with friends or around people who have suffered great tragedies. I at first thought this was an odd statement to make.But then he said the reason why is that they are so appreciative and don't put up with bull shit or sweat the small stuff. I can't say I am there totally as I still cried yesterday when Gracie ate my brand new Anthropologie sweater and new Banana Republic dress! (no, she is not still a puppy!)And I still huffed and puffed when I realized my conditioner exploded in my Dad's carry on bag but I guess I would say I am not a huge complainer, maybe to really close family and friends... but I try to keep "I had a really stressful or bad day" comments to myself as I know from experience, someone else is having a much worse off day then you. When I think of what my parents went through that day, their own Son who they loved dearly, I cannot think of anything worse- therefore, thinking of that day makes me never want to complain again and to be thankful for everything that I still have even after everything that I have lost.....

Dad's truck

The garage is almost clean. Going through all of this stuff I cannot even imagine what my Sister and others went through as they went through the house a few days after they passed. I cannot imagine walking in and seeing what they were last doing. Opening the fridge to find the steaks that my Dad had marinated only a few hours prior for dinner. I couldn't have done it.

Family and friends lent a helping hand this weekend as we sorted, tossed and gave away what might be garbage to some but were treasures to my Mom and Dad. Other then pictures and my Grandma's ring that my Mom wore everyday, my most cherished things I brought back to the house this weekend was her Christmas decorations. Her tree and organized ornaments and painted houses.....our stockings with our names engraved. It made me smile to see Aunt Kim, Mom's baby Sister try on my Mom's coats and look through her dresses and some of her paintings to take home. The more people that I can make smile through this tragedy the better.
And that is exactly what we did when we announced our surprise to my Uncle Jimmy, my Mom's brother. My Dad was a Ford man through and through....he retired only a year and 1/2 ago at the age of 50 years old. He had worked for Ford since 17 years old. Since we were young, after the mini-van stage, we always had SUV's and trucks and the last truck he had saw the most mileage. He made many, many trips to the lake, Cincinnati, Hilton head, Boston, and so much more. Like I have mentioned before, my Father had great relationships with everyone especially family. He was really close with my Mom's brother Jimmy and had made many trips to the lake with him for weekends of fishing. My Uncle's car hasn't been working well lately and instead of selling my Father's Ford F150, my Sister and I have decided to give it to my Uncle as a gift.
He was truly honored and taken back but I know my Dad would be thrilled we did this for him.
Mom and Dad were loved by so many and anything we can do to keep their memory alive and make someone happy while doing it-just feels right.
After many hours of cleaning, my Aunt Kim and her kids, my Cousin Jessica & Bob, Uncle Jimmy, Ted, Christina and I we headed to our local favorite Mexican restaurant where we treated everyone to lunch with the proceeds from selling my Dad's snow blower.

I never thought in a million years at age 29, I would be cleaning out my parents house with both of them gone and my brother in jail. I had the "young parents" out of my friends, they were going to live for another 40 years....but I know so clearly how precious life is and how quickly it can be taken away when you're least expecting it.

Missing you constantly and wishing you were here but I know you are watching down and are so proud of our strength.

Melissa

going home

After traveling for work this week, we are now going back to MI after work today to meet family members at my parents house tomorrow to clean the garage and house- empty. Traveling pregnant so far has not been difficult but this month there is a lot of it....Wisconsin, LA, Portland and Seattle. I am really looking forward to my travels to Seattle as it's one of the most beautiful places, especially with the trees in the Fall. Oh and MI almost every weekend, which luckily is only a 4 hour drive for us. For the time being, I'm so thankful we are only 4 hours from home especially when I look back on the past two years. I would have felt even more sad and guilty had I been any further and not got to spend the quality time with Mom and Dad that I did. It still wasn't enough though.

This weekend will be difficult as many are.....just the thought of going through more of their things and being in my Dad's garage, where I was pretty much prohibited my entire life, without them being there is hard. Most people have accepted they are gone but frankly, I still can't believe it. And I know my brother and sister feel the same exact way.

I am most looking forward to next weekend where I will spend an entire weekend with family and friends as we gather for our baby celebration. Family and Friends are coming from all over...Texas, Georgia, Boston, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Arizona, Florida, Virginia, California, and various parts of Michigan. Nothing makes me happier knowing I will get to see my Family and Friends under one roof. Last time we all gathered was 6 months earlier for Mom and Dad's funeral and I am still in a bit of amazement that I am pregnant, with a little girl, so soon after their death. She is definitely our faith and hope and she doesn't even know it yet.........

creating value

While in Wisconsin this week for work, a few members of my Team are attending a seminar called "creating value". The reason for this course is to learn how to better align our companies strategies and initiatives with our customers strategies and initiatives through a process called value creation. These meetings are always very beneficial and you take away key learning's that can truly be applied to your work, however in this particular session I am also learning things to be applied to my every day life.



The leader for this session is a 51 year old man with a vast amount of experience in life and business. He ties in his personal life and experiences while sticking to a curriculum. He oddly enough told us he had just lost his Mom two weeks ago and his Father many years ago. He said, "I am parent-less". Wow, we have something in common I thought yet, I am much younger. He told us about his beautiful 2 daughters that were in there 20's and I was thinking how lucky he is to have had his Mom watch his daughters grow into beautiful adults. I will never have that.



He then left us with some very strong words. He said he had the best Father in the world who had many friends throughout life. His youngest daughter asked her grandfather one day why he had so many friends and he replied, "because I am interested not interesting".

Think about that for a minute. He was interested in others -not trying so hard to be interesting...... I really liked that. Unfortunately, 93% of Americans (direct statistic from him) are not interested. They spend way too much time and energy on trying to be interesting to others.



I sat and pondered those words and thought about my own Dad. He was very much interested in others and never cared to much about talking about himself. And he was a great friend. Same with my Mommy. And that is why they had well over 500 people at their visiting hours and a few hundreds at the actual funeral.





He also brought up something so random but the group ended up having a blast with it. He talked about his daughters and how he wanted them to date the right type of men.... so with his daughters, they created a "guy compass". I like these and will pass them on to Ted to teach to our daughter!

-observe how he spends his money ( does he purchase things or experiences?)

-observe his friends (you can choose your friends, not your family)

-observe his relationship with his parents (close family or not)

-observe how he treats the wait staff (this one was my favorite as it shows how he treats normal everyday people)



See, work can be really fun. I went to a training seminar but also took away a few life lessons........be more interested and tips to making sure my daughter marries the right guy! He also talked a lot of true happiness and taking things off of our plate that are meaningless. We only have 100 hours to spend each week so spend them right. "time is our ultimate currency" he explained.

a weekend in Cincinnati with friends

Our best pals, Mel and Nick flew in from New Jersey this weekend for a visit. From this point on, we will see them every month through the end of December with the upcoming baby shower, Thanksgiving and Christmas Break. It's sad when you live so far from two of your very good friends when your pregnant-but in this case, we will see so much of them throughout this exciting time in our life.

They have been part of Ted and I's family for almost 10 years and they knew my parents very well. Many weekends spent at my parents lake place, they attended both of their 50th birthday parties, my parents attended their wedding, came to Chicago and Cincinnati during the same weekends and they have spent numerous Thanksgivings with both mine and Ted's family together and then almost every Christmas Eve at the Close's.

And Mel was the first person I called as I was driving back with Ted to MI after I got the news of the tragedy from my Sister. I could barely breathe and couldn't talk long and ended up handing the phone to Ted. I also called her back when I found out my Mom did not make it. And that next morning after driving through the night from New Jersey, she was by my side in Michigan.

Given that we had so many memories and fun times spent with my parents, one day I hope she will also be able to focus on all of the amazing memories and fun we have had and put that phone call and everything else behind her. But I also appreciate that she knows I am struggling at times and will accept my good and bad days and for me, I have not forgotten the phone call or any of the details. It's still fresh in my mind like it happened yesterday.....support and sensitivity is so appreciated.

We look forward to sharing so many memories with them as we bring our little girl into the world. I see many family trips to Disney world in our future and renting a big house somewhere on the beach with our little ones running around and us still being able to enjoy a nice bottle of wine after we put them to sleep. When your family all of sudden shrinks and you crave these memories to be shared with them, it's a great feeling to know you have friends that are as close as family and will be on this journey of life with you.

Thank you Mom and Dad for showing me how you cherished your friendships by making time for them and making memories. I am so happy I was passed on that that gift and know, because of you, I will have a lifetime filled with rich friendships that not even distance can break apart.

We sold it

On Mom and Dad's 31st anniversary and the exact 6 months since their death, we received the one and only offer on my childhood home and I accepted it.

I had to accept the offer as I took this as a sign that my parents were telling us that is was okay to let it go. Get rid of this I felt them telling me. It will be surreal when I go back there one last time with my Sister to go through the last of their things. I never really went through their things except at the lake house and I feel like this stuff is much more personal- their handwriting is on many boxes-my Dad's bike that he rode everyday in the Summer-my Mother's beloved Christmas Holiday decorations- and every other Holiday, Dad's grill tools, pots and pans and childhood toys, memory boxes and so much more....

Every Christmas for the past 28 years was spent in that home and it will be so strange to walk out those doors and say goodbye. To say goodbye to the place where my Father died instantly, where my Mother was shot several times, where my life changed forever......

Leslie, thank you so much for your comment a few days ago. Comments, phone calls, emails, cards and words such as this are what keep me going. They lift up my spirits and remind me that I am now on this journey to honor my parents- everything I do is for them and while I still cannot believe their gone, you're right- they would be proud of me. Even the days when I sob my eyes out as I look at a picture or crave their food or miss their voices and presence, they are still proud of me.

I look forward to having a similar relationship with my Daughter that my Mother and I had, sure there were arguments over clothes, boys, curfews, money and school but the love, support, care and friendship I received from her is so unexplainable. I find it hard sometimes to describe the person she was because "a good person" does not do her justice. An amazing, priceless Mother that could never be replaced is a much better description. Same with Dad, he showed his loved by being involved in my life. His visits meant the world to me and the comfort he felt in our home and the relationship he grew with Ted-made him the best Dad in the world. I never had to prove anything to Mom and Dad, they just loved me and were always there no matter what.

That is what I will miss as we bring the new little one into the world. They would have been there anytime, any day, any year because Family all through life- has always been the number one priority. Christina and I are on a mission and that is to show our children that we can still have a wonderful family life, it may be smaller and it may never be the same, but we will somehow find a way to raise them happily with so much love and support, and frankly that is all one needs....

Thinking of you constantly and still not at peace Mom that you did not feel any pain, it's still haunting me and I hope one day I can wake up and say, it was so fast, you were in shock and felt no pain. Because until then, I am not anywhere near being at peace. But what gets me there closer and closer each day is believing you and Dad are together and that one day, I will see you again.

Melissa

31 years

In 1975 a mutual friend introduced my parents to each other at a diner near Roosevelt High School...

A few years later they were married on October 7th, 1977.

Happy 31st Anniversary Mommy and Dad. Mom was in the News Herald 2 years ago about her long term marriage, here were a few questions and responses....


News Herald: When and where you were married?



Mom: October 7, 1977 at at St. Joesph Catholic Church in Wyandotte



News Herald: Any children?



Mom: Melissa, 27; Justin, 25 and Christina; 23.


News Herald: What is the secret of your successful marriage?



Mom: "We believe the secret to our success is to always have open communication, trust each other, have strong family values and being there for each other. "And last but not least, have fun together! Take weekend getaways. Spending time alone, without any stress does wonders!"





I always did something special for my parents on their anniversary. For their 25th I sent them to the restaurant where Ted and I got engaged-cafe cortina. I had the perfect table set for them by the fireplace. Champagne was delivered. They could order anything they wanted. When I called Dad after to see how everything went, he was laughing how when Mom got up to go to the bathroom, the waiters would re-fold her napkin into a swan. They had a great time.





Last year for their 30th, they came down to Cincinnati a few weeks later and Ted and I took them to a classic in Cincinnati, Montgomery Inn. They embarrassed me by wearing the bibs that were provided as they ate the famous ribs.
My fun, loving, beautifully young parents........

Why them? Why a couple that stayed together through thick and thin? Why both of them?

Because they couldn't have survived without each other.

Honoring your wedding anniversary on the 6 month anniversary of your death and missing you terribly. I wish I could take you to dinner again-and celebrate the love you had for each other and to show you again how much you were loved. No one will ever take away the memories we have shared, but they leave me wanting to make more of them....

"Happy" Fall

Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water. ~Antoine Rivarol

On Saturday, I would say I let out a little too much water. I was overly emotional as Ted and I were heading down to my parents house to mow the lawn. I couldn't stop crying and it worsened as we pulled up to the house. Someone who must love and know my Mother very well, decorated her front door with a beautiful Fall wreath and some fun Halloween/Fall decor. They know my Mom's outside was festive as can be for every single Holiday and Season change and they wouldn't let them not being there- stop this tradition.

That was confirmed to me as I walked through my parents garage to pick through some of her Fall things that I may like to take home with me. One step at a time. She was so adorable and had everything organized by Season, already had Happy Halloween plates and napkins ready to be used for this year. Just by going through this stuff you could see how fun spirited she was. This was a woman of happiness that got pure joy out of the different seasons and holidays and it saddens me because the world needs more of these people. She had fun with it and so many forget that having fun is sometimes the most important thing in life to do.

So as Ted finished mowing the lawn, I packed up a few Fall things to take home with me and came across a small box that read "Melissa and Christina's baby dresses". I opened it to find 3 lovely little dresses in pink, red and blue. The blue one read "I love you Grandma". It looked handmade. I know there are so many more treasures I will find but it's so very hard each and every time I go to that house, or up-north because not only were my parents full of life, their house was too. I often teased my Mother, which I now regret, that she had too much "stuff". And now I find this stuff putting a smile on my face. That is, after the tears have been dried up.

After we got back today after a nice long vacation and a weekend back in MI, I started getting my own house ready for the Fall. My fall wreath, my leaf tablecloth (which happily holds a stain from my Father from last November, he even said, "you'll look at it when I am gone and cry"-he literally said this to me last year when he spilled on my table), and of course my pumpkin scented hand soap and candles are out.....

but a part of me wishes I could close my eyes and wake up and it be January 2009. As sad as it is for me to say this, I wish I could pass up the Holidays this year. Just this year. Can my Sister and I have a "Happy" Thanksgiving or a "Merry" Christmas this year? Without my Mom, Dad and Brother? Will we have to put on fake smiles and laughter or will we make it through with strength and courage with the love of other Family members who know how tough the Holidays will be?

Let's just get through Halloween for now.

Happy Fall to my festive, loving, full of spirit parents........

Melissa

a wonderful week

Tonight Ted and I are back in Michigan for the weekend with another lovely vacation behind us, loaded into the memory bank. This post would be much too long to describe the resort we stayed at on the coast of Pebble Beach, it was- simply stated-beautiful and a place we probably would never have gotten to experience had Farmland Foods not sent us there.

I do want to share with you a few of my favorite things about the trip:

1. The picturesque setting of the resort; Ocean, trees, golf courses and lush surroundings.
2. The fireplace and room setting- my favorite part of the evening is when I would leave the crowd early to go to sleep and I would come back, change to my pajamas, turn the lights off and turn the fireplace on. I loved the way it lit up the room. It was then that I would reminisce about my parents and miss them. The room was very lush and quite large with a view of the rocky coast.
3. The food- Farmland treated us to some incredible dinners, one included renting out the Monterey Aquarium where we enjoyed Fresh Seafood, along side the fish and shark tank- kind of strange, but neat nonetheless.
4. The spa- by far, the nicest spa I have ever been to...they had so many different rooms for you to enjoy before and after your treatment which in my case was a prenatal massage. My back and right leg, which was bugging before hasn't hurt since!
5. The golf- not for me but for Ted....I am so happy he has one of the top courses in the World- Spy Glass-under his belt. And frankly, the only time spending $300 on a round of golf is considered the norm.
6. The wine- okay, so I didn't get to try any per say but the wine tour was beautiful and really interesting and I have about 8 bottles being shipped to my house and they will be waiting for us to enjoy when I can enjoy wine again. one day.
7. After the work trip had ended, we stayed one additional night at a nearby Bed & Breakfast. I myself thought it was very quaint and lovely but what I found is that my husband's taste is not the same. He prefers the finer amenities like a TV so I doubt I will ever be going back to a B & B, but I enjoyed it while it lasted.
9. Being pregnant on my first vacation...I have to admit, the comments and compliments were quite nice, hearing the words,"you're so tiny" made me laugh because we all know that's not for long!
10. And last but not least, flying first class.....we got lucky and both flights out and back were up front. Being pregnant, I loved having access to more food and easier and quicker access to a bathroom!

Like I said in my last post, for two people who love to vacation whether Ted qualified for these trips or not, are very lucky to experience these special places. I will post some of our pictures tomorrow.

So tonight I reflect on another wonderful vacation, but am left with a strong desire to call my parents. It seems so strange to me that I now experience vacations and my life without them. They no longer will get to hear any of my hundreds of stories from each trip and like my Mom, we always try to bring a few souvenirs back for people and this trip was weird to not be searching for that perfect thimble for Mom and a shot glass to add to Dad's collection of hundreds. As I was flying today, reading a new book I had purchased, I came across a section where the Author was talking about missing her parents-tears stormed down my eyes.

She wrote, "All of these memories of Mama and Daddy make them feel closer somehow, yet I miss them both more keenly than usual too. My love for them is still immediate and strong, even though death has separated us for many years. Just as my Mother remained homesick her entire adult life for England and her family there, I am homesick for my parents, for that safe place of comfort and security they provided. I guess that will never change."

I thought to myself as I started feeling upset, no that will never change and that feeling of being homesick will probably last a lifetime with me. I know each and every day I will wake up with the yearning to call home. to come home. to be home........

I miss you so much and have so much to share with you.

Your daughter