baby #2

Wow, here we celebrated Elle's 2nd birthday and now I'm about to leave for my 20 week pregnancy appointment! I will FINALLY have an ultrasound to meet this little one, to see how he/she is progressing and hopefully will find out what we are having! I have to admit with my first one I SO wanted a girl. Everything about my life that had happened- a girl was needed. I was so thankful it was a girl and that she was healthy. I understood even deeper the bond my Mommy and I had. It was something only a few could understand. I think of the joking and laughter her and I shared. It was a different kind of relationship. I miss my Mom and I wish her and Dad were here today as we reveal the sex of THIS baby. I don't care what we have this time around. I would LOVE another girl but LOVE to experience a BOY and to have both would be so perfect. Yes, a girl would be cheaper as I have everything a girl could want!!! BUT, we will be pleased either way as long as they are healthy (and sweet, breastfeed easy and sleep). I'm not asking much, am I?

Ted's Mom came down for Elle's birthday party and stayed with her for a few days so Ted and I could travel for work worry-free. It definitely made traveling and being away so much easier. I didn't have to worry. Sure I worried if she was getting fed too much ice cream or watching too much TV or was going to bed when she should but honestly anytime Elle can spend with her Grandparents or any family and our friends for that matter is priceless and after a few days, she will get back to her routine anyway. And we came home with all of our laundry caught up so that was an added bonus. These last few years have been hard...it's been a struggle adjusting to life, having children, and having Ted's parents as our only Grandparents and parents to share all of this joy with (of course we have other amazing extended family), but when it comes to parents, we have them. It's taken me a long time to accept it and I still have a while to go especially with the emotions that come along with welcoming a new child. I just miss MY parents. They want to be here too and they had such a wonderful relationship with Ted's parents. We'd spend Holidays together, they celebrated retirements together (the last time my Parents were at the Close's and the last time we ever saw them-Mom brought Dad Close a retirement card and gift card to a local pub in Allen Park), came to birthday parties, and I now that would have never changed as it was so important to Ted and I that we spent time with them together. We were lucky, after a few years after we got married, our families really did turn into one. We were lucky and that is why it has been even more painful adjusting to this new way of life. I see other competitive Grandparents, fighting over how much time each get to spend with their grandchild, etc and I am so confident that would have never happen. My parents didn't have it in them. They were SO laid back and the four of them would have been the perfect team of grandparents and support network for Ted and I. I think about it a lot..though I know I cannot change it. But I continue to be proud of Ted and I and how well we do on our own. We have our own life here in Cincinnati.....we have a beautiful home....and have met wonderful friends and continue to enjoy our work. But there is always a piece of me that will continue to miss our old life as nothing can replace the feeling I got with sharing my "good" life with my parents. I know how proud they were of me as they rolled their eyes at whatever I was sharing/bragging at any given moment.