this little piggy...

Elle's first Halloween...she was adorable...

I so wish it was easier to stop focusing on what I do not have in my life (My Mom, Dad,and Brother) and focus on all of the things I do have. Sounds easy right? I have a beautiful-healthy daughter and that should solve all of my sadness right? No Mom and Dad it does not and I feel like there are some days that only you would understand-why did you have to die the way that you did? I'm not expecting an answer. There never will be one. It just shouldn't have ever happened. 

Every Holiday, yes, even the simple ones like Halloween where you're just dressed up and pass out some candy, remind me that I do not have parents and that you will never meet Elle, well on Earth at least. We had a fabulous evening last night. Friends stopped by with their babies, Ted made Kielbasa and sauerkraut (Dad's specialty), we sipped on Pumpkin ale and took lots of pictures of the babies looking so cute. We walked around our fun little neighborhood where people we're sitting on their front lawns with fires going, drinks in hand, passing out candy. We passed one couples home and the wife's parents were on the porch, sipping on drinks watching the kids go bye. I thought to myself, Mom and Dad would have came down. They would be doing this. Although, Halloween is perhaps the one Holiday that I would have not gotten them to come here since my Dad would have to watch over his "great pumpkin" and my Mother would most definitely have to be dressed up in something scary to greet the hundreds of trick or treaters they would get each and every year. 

But, we have great friends. We have friends to pass out candy with and to take pictures with and to sit on the porch with. And we live in a fantastic neighborhood. But some days it seems like it's never enough. I almost have it all ya know. I miss my Family. It's awkward that the only immediate family member I have left is a Sister. And the Holidays are coming....I hate that I have to dread them but I know it's a normal feeling. My daughter's first Christmas and they still won't be here. 

I am so happy Aydan enjoyed his Halloween. He was so used to going to Gramma and Papa's house. It was tradition. Luckily he is busier than ever back in MI or else they would have came to Cincinnati. Soccer AND Hockey yesterday, visits with friends at a country club for fun filled activities with the kids and then trick or treating around Matt's neighborhood. My heart breaks for Aydan that his life too has changed and yet I am thankful he is young, filled with life and to this day can remember pretty much everything about his Grandparents. 

Elle was such a trooper in her piggy costume and she made all of us smile....and my stomach hurts from all of the candy bars I have continued to eat today...

Melissa