make new friends..

Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the others gold... 

I learned that in Girl Scouts and at the time really had no idea what it meant. I would just sing along with the other "scouts" as my Mother (the cookie Mom) would give me the eye for acting up and not fully paying attention. She was troop leader for a few years but realized I would goof around only because my Mom was the "troop leader" . We have home videos to document this behavior. During ceremony one year, I was to put the flag in the post, easy enough. Well I kept sticking my tongue out at my BFF at the time (Sierra) and would not stop giggling. The video camera was actually shaking in the video. I wonder if my Dad was laughing or shaking in disgust of my behavior. 

I have "gold" friends. They'll be my friends until I am old and gray. They're always, always there and there is no effort whatsoever to maintain their friendship. They ask, they know and they care. And they are the girls I want to rent a beach house with when we're in our 50's, drink vintage wine, and talk about our children's lives, some of them will be married then perhaps, or graduating from College, and cry over our heartache (deaths, divorce, disappointments) but then laugh over the memories we have had shared and be proud of ourselves that through our busy lives, we remained best of friends. My parents had those friends, those 30+ year friendships. When I ran into my Father's best friend from childhood at my Grandfather's funeral last month he said to me, "I miss Jerome everyday, I talk to him everyday, no one loved me more then Jerome". It was hard to hear a grown man say those words. I miss him too Jamie. Everyday. 

And there are the silver friends. The "new" friends and they are wonderful as well and as you move around various states or even just neighborhoods, you meet unique and lovely individuals too that also leave a special mark in your heart. 

Last night, I had a little dinner party with a few of my girlfriends from Cincinnati. One was really new-I had only met her once. But we instantly were chatting it up about being new mommies (all of us had recently became a new Mom this year, except for Mer-she has had 2 girls over the past 4 years). 

But meeting new people is also tough as the "parents" are bound to come up. Who wouldn't ask about family or talk about what the Grandparents think of little Elle?  It's only natural. Or, god forbid I'm asked if I have siblings. It's hard.  I think she may have known. Our mutual friends could have warned her as she didn't seem too shocked or surprised when I said in passing that they died last year. I didn't get into details but we talked about the Holidays and how it is tough choosing which side to spend which Holiday with. Well, I don't have that problem anymore but frankly, I don't think I ever would have had that difficulty. One, we were lucky that our parents lived in the same State, but two, we all enjoyed one another and it was really, really important for Ted and I be together with our families at the same time. 

As much as I love new friendships, it's tough at the same time. They don't know everything and you can only dance around certain things for so long. And I don't want to not talk about them. They were everything to me and they are the reason I am the way I am and I like to think that I am pretty good friend and I learned from the best. No shoulder was a better shoulder then my Mother's to cry on for many of her friends and family and my Father was the most loyal friend anyone could ask for. 

Gold, Silver, they're all wonderful. I couldn't imagine life without girlfriends. Many of them are family to me. And when you've lost your Mother, your lifelong best friend, it's amazing how you need those girls in your life even more...