"A little over a year ago, my brother shot and killed both my Mother and Father and I'm devastated". He repeated my exact words and said "wow, this is terrible. The worst of the worst." Then he of course wanted to understand Justin's condition to have some background, "this was not suppose to happen this way- he was under a Doctor's care" and he himself could not believe that he was seeing a Doctor every two weeks and the fact that they did not notice any changes in his behavior. No one saw this coming. "they trusted and really knew him and did the best they knew how to do" I explained. "I believe he was mis-diagnosed for many years and because he did not have any episodes except for social anxiety and the inability to work, we accepted his condition and never thought of him as a danger to our family...he was part of our family".
He said exactly what I already knew though, "Melissa, you're not depressed, your grieving and your heart is broken", "you were 28 years old, the prime of your life, your parents were young and you expected them to be around for at least another 30 years", "your heart was ripped right out of your chest with NO notice-BOOM, your life is changed forever" "and your family was torn apart" "your childhood home-where your memories took place was taken away and you feel robbed...cheated" "Now you are learning all over again who you are...."
My emotions, thoughts and feelings just as expected are normal. I explained the jealousy, anger and sadness I feel. "why wouldn't you feel that way? You want THEM here" "They SHOULD be here too". "I cannot get past how my Mom was alive for an hour and I miss them dearly".
We talked for a solid hour and got through as much as we could. "I'd like to be your therapist if you agree to see me again".
"See you next Tuesday" I said as I walked out the door.......
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