Just-in-time

Justin's nickname growing up was Just-in-time and Bubba dede.

His grief is also accompanied by guilt, regret, shock, depression, loneliness and scared-ness. All while sitting in the cell of a Jail. Not being able to understand why in the World he would do such a thing. The depression he feels must be so overwhelming. I pray they do not make him go through a trial, which is still yet to be determined. The emotions and reliving of the event would be too difficult for him to handle. I am 100% sure Mom and Dad, that in the moment of tragedy, that was NOT your Son. He went into a manic stage and now that he is out of it and on medications, he does not want to live, nevertheless in a prison, for the rest of his life and he cannot make any sense of this. I almost wish he would have never come to the realization of what has occurred. I feel like that would be easier for him. For us all.

Christina visits weekly and I have written a few letters. I need to help him adapt to his new life and to learn to accept it. All we can do is pray he is placed somewhere safe. A mental institution, although that's even hard to imagine. This may sound strange to some people, but Justin is not crazy, but he is very, very Ill. He would not last in general population; people would steal from him knowing that he has money. There are many people in Prison with nothing and zero visitors. Seeing someone that has money for snacks and toiletries will be taken advantage of.

I hope he can be somewhere safe where he can potentially work, attend church and adjust and one day have some type of peace.

We're praying for him Mom and Dad, we're praying........we know you were the most forgiving people on this planet so we know supporting him to some level is what you would want. I can't say it's easy, especially for Christina who is seeing this situation first hand, right in the eye, face to face. It's very painful. Something that is truly unexplainable.

Thanks for watching over him. I love this picture below as he smiles with Aydan, although Justin was about 40 pounds heavier then nornal as this is when he drank regular coke verses diet. He will never hold Aydan again and that is very sad.