30 years...

Being married for 30 years takes hard work, dedication and strong family values.

You certainly have given Ted and I an incredible example to build upon as we approach our 5 year anniversary on May 10th. I am certain it wasn't always easy, but one thing I am for sure of is the amount of fun you had together and the amount of love you had for each other and your family. You were truly known as Pat & Jerome. Often people want to be known as individuals, they claim they want their independence....freedom. Not you guys though....that didn't matter to you. The only thing that did was that you were together.

Thank you for portraying the way God intended it to be....till death do us part. I am so proud and thankful to have had you as parents and I miss you every single minute of every single day.

She's all I have left

It's very hard to say this, but she is all I have left. Life changes so quickly. I woke up on April 7th of 2008 having a family of 5. A mother and father, A brother and sister. I went to bed that night, with only a Sister. During this tragedy, I essentially, lost my brother too. It is his birthday today, Mom and Dad. Many people are thinking of him and all we can do is send our hope and prayers.

Christina Marie, born on August 10th of 1984. She was your baby. Always the last to get up at Christmas, her squeaky voice would scream as she tore threw all of her presents(woweeewowwoweee, she would say...). She was a ballerina and an animal lover with a huge heart.

You would be so proud of her right now. Mom, she held your hand after you passed. She went through both of your clothes, and did your last load of laundry. She cleaned out your cupboards and went through you drawers. She is doing so much more emotionally, then I could ever imagine. She got your wedding ring sized to fit her right hand and we have plans to get Dad's ring melted into two, for us both to wear.

She may be all I have left, but we still have the memories of our family of 5 and the love, laughter and bond that we once shared. And Christina and I are so blessed, to have other wonderful family and friends surrounding us with their love, everyday.

Please keep giving us the strength to live our lives the way you would have wanted. Full lives, like you lived...

Thank you for raising such a caring, heartwarming, loving, beatiful, daugher. My Sister, Christina.

You were the type of people

I have reflected a lot over the last several weeks and what I find the most compelling, is when I close my eyes to really think and realize the type of people and parents that you were.

And, I come to the same conclusion each time.... we were all so very lucky, to have people, like you, in our lives.

You were the type of people that never went into anyone's home empty handed; a cheesecake, maybe cupcakes, a bottle of wine, homemade cookies, a hostess gift, (my gosh did you rub off on Christina- that girl would spend her last dime on buying her Mexi cali dip or making her famous Asparagus rolls for friends, just to make them smile as she enters their home).

You were the type of people, that welcomed, even strangers, into your home and offered them a cold drink.

You were the type of people, that would pick your neighbors up from the airport, even if they landed at 4am.

You were the type of people, that would bring shirts and trinkets back from YOUR vacation for friends and family, just to make them smile ( I chuckle thinking of when you recently got back from Key West, you had little gifts waiting for everyone, when I last came home).

You were the type of people, that made family their number one priority. Whether it meant taking care of Grandpa Olszowy on a weekly basis, or being there for Grandpa Griener and being the glue that kept all of your siblings together, and close.

You were the type of people, that loved to entertain.

You were the type of people, that were a bit obsessed with recycling, and found joy in picking recyclables out of my garbage.

You were the type of people, that never judged anyone. A trait that more people, should have.

You are the type of people, that we all want and hope to be.

You were the type of parents, that never missed a track meet or a cheerleading competition. (Yes, you and that embarrassing video camera).

You were the type of parents, that helped Ted and I put on an amazing wedding, for all of our family and friends to enjoy (and yes, Jamie still talks about how great of a time he had)

You were the type of parents, that were the first to visit any new town Ted and I moved to, just to show you could make friends, at any given time or place (Cabby Shack in Plymouth, Half Way Cafe in Watertown, Cheers in Boston, and Arthur's in Hyde Park).

You were the type of parents, or should I say Dad, that would hang up all of our art, picture frames and shelves, because you were a perfectionist with the level (I will miss that so much, when we move next).

You were the type of parents, that would go out on the town with Ted and I. For my 28th birthday party, Mom danced the night away with my friends, while Dad collected trinkets from the Budweiser girls.

You were the type of parents, that would tell me wrong from right, even at the age of 28. You never stopped being "parents", even though we had such a fun relationship.

You were the type of parents, that cooked every meal, washed every piece of clothing, ran every errand (doctors, dentist, shopping), for your Son for all of these years, just because you loved him and would do anything for him.

You were the type of parents, who would switch around their life, to watch their grandson Aydan, so Christina could go to school and work at the Hospital full time. (and you enjoyed, every minute, of the time spent with him..)

You were the type of parents, that would listen to me and my "so called problems of the day", I feel so selfish looking back and wish I spent every minute thanking you, for being the type of parents you were.

You were the type of parents that loved us no matter what, and were proud for everything we have accomplished in life, so far.

You were the type of parents, that I can only hope, I will be.

The gift of friendship

Like the both of you, I also have incredible friends. You instilled in me the importance of friendship and illustrated throughout the years how to treat and cherish others, so they know how much you care about them. Thank you for leaving me, the wonderful gift of friendship.

Mom and Dad- they have really taken care of me these past few weeks and their thoughtfulness, generosity and support, will never be forgotten and will always be appreciated.

My friends brought me dinner, because they knew we wouldn't be in the mood to cook

My friends sent me flowers, because they knew they would brighten my day

My friends send me bottles of Wine from Napa Valley, because they know how much I love Wine and that we will toast to them and both of you, when we drink it

My friends come over, just to have a glass of Wine on the porch, and to sit and talk

My friends stay the night, because they knew I wouldn't want to be alone when Ted travels

My friends send me cheesecakes in Memory of you Mom, to celebrate your birthday

My friends send me cards and write thoughtful words, to make me smile

My friends send me emails, just to tell me they were thinking about me

My friends call me and I know I can call them anytime, any day, any minute, if I really need to talk

My friends flew and drove from all over the country, to be by my side

My friends are the greatest and I will be forever grateful for their continued friendship and support

I know my friends will continue making sure we keep the memory of both of you alive and continue coming with me, on my journey of life. I hope I can continue being the type of friend to them as they have been to me.

Dad- before I go, can you do me a favor? One of our greatest friends Eric, lost his Father last year to Cancer. Eric visited Ted and I last night and shared a lot about his Dad. I think you and his Dad would get along very well. Would you find Mr. Pogue up there and tell him that he would be incredibly proud of his Son and tell him what a wonderful person he continues to be? Thanks Dad.

Thank you, for leaving a special place

Most of my childhood memories have Harrison, MI or "up-north" in them. We have been going up there since all of us were born and I have 28 years of memories to cherish and many more to make, as we continue this tradition in sharing this special place, with our family and friends.

Thank you, Mom and Dad for introducing us to this beautiful place in Michigan. Christina and I are doing everything we can to hold on to the lake house to be able to carry on the tradition, in honor of you. We were so blessed to have a second place to call home all of these years, a place to drive up to when school got out for the Summer, or a warm place during the Winter to enjoy the snow. Now Uncle Stan and Aunt Linda call Harrison, MI home as well as Grandpa Griener, and many of your friends, that are starting to retire.

When I think of Harrison, MI, I think of:

family and friends, clear skies, stars, lakes, s'mores, campfires with the up-north crew, Cranberry lake, the club house, watermelon contests, egg tosses, horseshoes, water skiing, Dad taking us tubing while Christina and I yelled so loud, turtles, snowmobiling, four-wheelers, Walravens ice-cream, Dad grilling, Mom sweeping off the porch, snacks at the beach, Justin and Dad fishing, Half Moon Lake, your new place, Pontoon boats, New Years eve, Dad's cinnamon french toast, drinks on the deck, parties, laughter, fresh air, relaxation, and of course, I think of you, my wonderful parents and the joy, that this place brought to your life.

So, look forward to many more cruises around half moon lake- we'll anchor and go for a swim, we have plans to finish that basement and make that bar you have always dreamed of, and most importantly, it will be a place to gather the people we love, where we will thank you, for leaving us all a very, special place.

Just in case you need them, Dad.

I will miss getting voicemails of you playing this song into the phone. I remember when this song was featured on a commercial, you were so excited. And of course, that dance.

Here are the lyrics to one of your favorite songs, just in case you forgot a verse or two.......

With love, your sweet Melissa

Crossroads, seem to come and go, yeah...

The gypsy flies from coast to coast

Knowing many, loving none, Bearing sorrow havin fun, But back home he'll always run

To sweet melissa... mmm...Freight train, each car looks the same, all the same.

And no one knows the gypsys name.

No one hears his lonely sigh,There are no blankets where he lies.

In all his deepest dreams the gypsy fliesWith sweet melissa... mmm...Again the mornings come, Again hes on the run, Sunbeams shining through his hair, Appearing not to have a care.

Well, pick up your gear and gypsy roll on, roll on.

Crossroads, will you ever let him go? (lord, lord)

Will you hide the dead mans ghost, Or will he lie, beneath the clay, Or will his spirit roll away?

But I know that he wont stay without melissa.

Yes I know that he wont stay without melissa.

He's concerned about us.

This is the part I cannot handle, Mom and Dad. There is no manual on how one should react to this. He is concerned about us, Christina and I.

He is telling his therapist at the jail how much he needs to talk to his Sisters and he is acting very concerned about Aydan. This is someone who has not done a whole lot of communicating over the last several years, so the fact that he is talking to people with emotion, is really hard to even imagine or handle. He is coming to the realization of what has occurred. This part scares me. How am I suppose to act or feel?

I feel anger, sadness, hurt, disgust and compassion toward him. He is my brother, but he took you both away from me. Why should I come in contact with him? So he can feel better about himself that Christina and I are okay? I need you both to guide me on this one. I am really struggling to figure out what you would want. He was your Son and you loved and trusted him no matter what the situation was. I am so sorry your own child could do this, he was sick. He wasn't the baby boy you raised when he did this, please trust me on that. You did an amazing job. You loved him to the end. It wasn't your fault.

Christina and Matt brought him money today, but did not visit, no one is ready for that. He can now get snacks, phone cards, socks and toiletries. He starts medical testing soon.

He's safe for now, Mom and Dad. Your Son is safe....

Happy 51st Birthday, Mom.

We celebrated for you, Mom, on your 51st birthday. Julie, Lindsey, Jess, Ashley, Jodi and I were here to celebrate your 51st birthday over Wine, cake, cheesecake (compliments of Melissa and Nick) and Pizza. We looked at pictures, had a dance party, and toasted to your wonderful life. Here are pictures from tonight and some from last year at your 50th birthday surprise party. Wow, what memories to cherish. Here's to you, Mom. Happy Birthday, we love and miss you every minute. I hope Dad took you dancing tonight............

I love you.

Don't worry, he will remember you.

Don't worry Mom and Dad, he will always remember. This is my promise to you.

I know Aydan was everything to you both. On your last day on Earth, you took him to the Park, Mom. When I close my eyes I picture you pushing him on the swing or catching him when he came flying down the slide. I can hear him say, "I don't want to leave Gamma". Then I see you holding hands as you walk back to the house, I am sure he was talking your ear off.

You were incredible grandparents and Christina, Matt, Ted and I will be sure he remembers every moment shared:

He will remember going up north with Gamma and Papa, as we will continue to bring him there
He will remember sleeping in between Gamma, Papa and Brandy when he would stay the night
He will remember riding in Papa's jeep up-north
He will remember when you recently took him to breakfast with the Easter bunny
He will remember you cheering him in the bleacher seats when he first started to learn how to skate and play hockey
He will remember when Dad bought him a baseball glove and ball and brought it to the hospital when he was first born
He will remember your many trips to the "money store" where he would pick out whatever he wanted
He will remember when he wrote his name on your new chair, you laughed so hard you couldn't be mad, I think you were just thrilled he spelled his name right
He will remember playing ball with Papa in the backyard
He will remember swimming in Half moon lake, when Papa would anchor the boat
He will remember licking the beaters from Gamma's baking bowls and decorating cookies

My promise to you is he will always remember what amazing grandparents he had and we will continue to show him pictures and videos so that he will hold and cherish the 4.5 years he had with you. But remember, its not the quantity that is important, its the quality of time spent with one another. That is truly a gift you have left with Christina and I, spend quality time with the ones we love most, as you never know when your time is up.

Your grandson, Aydan, will remember you always.