The new year is here...I apologize for the drop off in posts but candidly I didn't want to be redundant. I think by now everyone knows that the holidays are painful, the loss is magnified and all I want is to go "home" for the holidays. You were so missed every day. Grandpa looked great, your sister and brothers were happy and Christina did such a nice job hosting Christmas dinner at her apartment. I have come to realize its not about the space you have it's about simply being together. It will never be the same but I'll tell ya, we're doing an impressive job of pushing through and doing our best to be there for our own children and to not miss those precious moments - while also recognizing the reality. It's tough with Justin...my heart aches and he's lonely too. That is the part I really need continued guidance from up above. I need you to tell me what to do here.
Like the past five Christmases, they've been different. I search for new traditions and memories. This year the Close's had a packed house which was good and bad. I grew up in a house that was all about the more the merrier but when you add several kids and being off their schedule and several different personalities, it can get interesting but all in all a great holiday and awesome to see all of our siblings, nephew and nieces. The toughest part this year was thinking we were saying goodbye to our beloved bulldog Gracie. She was vomitting prior to break so I took her in, they ran tests, x-rays and recommended exploratory surgery. They biopsied major organs and tried to find answers. Unfortunately, the surgery did more harm than good as she didn't recover well...reacted to the meds, continued to not eat, vomitt then ultimately caught pneumonia. Her body was shutting down. We were back in MI getting constant updates from our vet but christmas morning was awful - they didn't think she'd survive.
Well, I'll leave the rest in history because January 4th we brought her home for good. She made a miraculous recovery and while i feel we're left with some mystery and a big dent in our savings, I realized how grace is so much more than a dog. She's family. She's been here for us through the worst and best times in our lives. We weren't ready to say goodbye yet. Our prayers were answered.
2013 will be a big year for us...mom and dad, I cannot even comprehend that you've been gone for almost five years. How is that possible? I hope we've made you proud. Chris will graduate - do you believe it? And ted and I will celebrate TEN years. Right before you passed we were finalizing details on our five year trip. I'm amazed at how quickly time has passed...and now I'm a mother of two. I've so missed having you in my life. It sure has been a journey of digging really deep and accepting that this is the new chapter. This life experience has changed my entire life - good and bad.
Our sweet girl will turn four this month. She was a gift from heaven then and she remains that way today. She's so smart and sweet and I'll leave out how I'm excited to say goodbye to the terrible threes...as I know one day I'll miss them.
Harry is my baby. Though he's 18 months, I still can't put him down. He's so kissable. But I can see my time is almost up with this stage, makes me sad.
Happy new year everyone...praying for continued peace for our family, health for friends and family, success in our careers and lives...and a year that's full of memories (a painful one but a really special one like our wedding) and new ones like Chris graduating. Here's to a new year...
No comments:
Post a Comment