thinking of a families loss

Thinking of my good friend who lost her ex-husband this month and was laid to rest today, she is speaking at his funeral. They were together for 16 years. Sweethearts all through middle & high school. They were never apart...they decided to go their separate ways after they did try marriage. I was also very good friends with his Sister. She and I ran track together all through middle school & high school. They have wonderful parents. My heart aches for them to bury their Son at such a young age but more so how he passed. It was a tragic event - he committed suicide. Suicide scares me so much. It breaks my heart. I know how numb and in shock his family is right now....they are thinking they could have stopped it, they will have regret, they are wishing it wasn't their family, they are blaming themselves. All of these feelings I felt before and it's terrible. I am sure they are receiving a ton of support and they will soon have to return back to their life....sure I returned back to work but it didn't hit me until weeks after they passed that they were truly gone. I will never forget that moment - I've written about it before. I was driving and it hit me. I was screaming uncontrollably "mommy". I couldn't believe they weren't there to call. I pray his entire family & friends can somehow get past how he died and remember happily how he lived...but its the hardest thing to do. The tragedy takes over all of the good....and you have to dig so deep in your heart to accept the awfullness of the death....and know they are not in pain and they hopefully didn't feel a thing.
Death is everywhere and I notice it so much more now that my parents died. These stories impact me and I feel badly for days after I hear this type of news. I think its because I can relate to the shock and sadness and I now know normal happy families can experience tragedy when it's least expected. I know that anything is possible and so many things are out of our control.

I worry about raising kids in this kind of world. I want to shelter them from everything...depression, drugs, drunk drivers, bully's, guns...I worry so much now...I hugged and kissed my kids a lot this weekend...I am so thankful I have them and I pray from here on out my family can live a life with less heartache, continued success and happiness and a peaceful heart that my parents are OKAY enjoying their eternal life. A day won't go by that I won't think of them. Tears will still flow wishing they were here.....but I know how quickly life can be taken away...we have to enjoy our loved ones and friends as much as possible....