fast

This weather has been incredible - 80s in March? With Spring forward, I can now go running after the kids go to bed. It's still light at 7:30 and our neighborhood is FILLED with runners - which is rather motivating. I counted 24 different runners just on my small run around the square and through our neighborhood. As I was running and changing the songs on my Ipod I thought of my Dad. And I ran faster. He never missed a track meet of mine throughout my years of running and he would always say to me "stop psyching yourself out! you are going to win!" His brother, my Uncle Stan and him were so proud that I could run fast. I don't why. I mean, I'm sure if I were good at soccer or a more exciting sport would have probably been a little more entertaining but there was something about track that I absolutely loved. And my Dad and my other family members got into it. I would glance up to the sky as I was running tonight thinking if Dad was watching over me...if he was still proud or if he's sad...sad that I'm sad and sad that he's missing being around us kids and his grandchildren. I have a real tough time with the whole "their watching over you". I'm just not totally sure I believe that part. I feel like they are sad watching me. Why wouldn't they rather be here? They didn't want to go yet. They weren't suffering, or getting old...they were living their life, young, just retired and happy.

I am good with this warmer than average weather....it's Summer weather and I would be totally OK if we skipped right through Spring.

On another note, prince Harry (no, not the one that is all over the news these days OUR prince Harry...) is 9 months old today! He is still SO chill and sweet. I've heard (and witnessed) boys can be busy bodies. I am still waiting for that. He is Mr. Chill. Still not "officially" crawling yet. He moves though and his teachers laugh at school "that boy will get everything he wants without crawling"...he'll reach, grab, scoot, roll, get on all fours, rock/bend without exerting too much energy. He is hilarious. I am in NO rush for crawling, walking and all that. I know it will come with time and the doc and I were chatting and he was saying how Elle was quite early on the verbal/cognitive skills side or whatever he said and that physical came a little later. Cool...I'm good with them being "thinkers" and a little more chill as it will all come with time and then you blink and they are RUNNING and saying goodbye to you. My last baby....he's growing much too fast. I feel so lucky to have gotten to experience having a BOY too. Harrison rocks.... I will never let him get married, I will likely be his college roommate & I will buy my retirement house in his neighborhood. Oh his wife will HATE me. I can't wait!

I'll worry about Elle, hoping she'll choose the "nice" guy, afraid she'll drive in cars with boys or with stupid people who drink & drive. I hope I'm not controlling. I hope I am like my Mom was to me. She was always there, super caring and sweet and really, really funny.

I am pretty sure I will be the "in your face, over-bearing, call 20 times a day, Mom". I'll just go ahead and apologize ahead of time. But I'll be funny. I'm not missing out on anything though...I sure hope I am always here for my kids. I never want them to do this without us. I look at me and Chris and how much we need our parents. Parents are a child's safety net...even long into adulthood.....I miss my Mom and Dad.