It breaks my heart watching the today show this week as they cover the 10 year anniversary of 9/11...and I was so touched when they featured many of the children, now grown up, who lost a parent in this tragedy. A camp has been created called "America's camp" for the children that suffered loss during 9/11. A place where they can come to be a kid and most importantly from my perspective, be surrounded by others that feel the same way and can understand their pain. I look at these kids and I think while I hate the way my parents died-probably one of the worst ways to go- yet at least I had my parents through my childhood years, they got to watch me graduate high school, sit in the stands to cheer me on for 8 years of running track and clap with pride as I accepted MVP my senior year and camp champ at the annual cheer leading camp I attended, and Mom got to move me in to my first apartment in Kalamazoo, MI and then watch me graduate from WMU and accept my first job in Chicago........Ted was able to ask my Dad if he could marry me...and my parents got to watch their first daughter marry a guy they adored.....and they got to travel to all the different places we lived....and they got to welcome their first Grandchild to the world...while my heart aches every day for different reasons-they are missing SO much, today I reflect on what I did get to experience-that these 9/11 kids never did.....I had the best parents and I think that's why this has been even more painful...knowing what could have been.
Today is grandparents day at Elle's school....I sent in a book that Cindy put together for Elle when she was born called "in case you ever wonder"...inside is a picture of my parents and one of her and Steve.....I took this book to school for Elle today. She plans to share with her class that she has grandparents in heaven and grandparents in MI. I want Elle to know and understand. What if she never does?
Mom lost her Mom around 30...even though Gramma got to meet us all and babysit and celebrate birthdays, I know Mom lived her next 20 years wishing her Mom was here. I now relate and my biggest fear is that my kids will one day relate....I pray they never have to miss Ted and I at a young age. I would never want them to be sad, wishing we were here along their journey....I hope I can raise them to understand and believe that we are always with them...no matter what. I wish continued peace and faith for the 9-11 kids and my own family and anyone else out there who has lost parents at a young age....sending you the biggest hug and understanding of your pain...
I have two weeks left with Harrison....this has gone by so fast....I will be so sad to leave him.
All my love,
Melissa
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