my dream for my boy

I came across this when browsing online for the baby's room wall decor. I saw this, read it and knew it had to be framed for his room. It's perfect and it's exactly what I think of when I think of boys. I know all of these things are everything my Parents had hoped for my brother. And, my brother got to do most of these things, in his childhood. He was such a good boy. So sweet and cute and all boy....he loved to fish and find creatures and play with toads. I can only imagine what my Mother felt when she first held her son and all of the possibilities and then differences of having a girl too. Yet, I imagine mostly what it was like if she knew her Son was taking her life away from her. I want to believe there was no time to know but I bet there was....I bet she saw or knew........I never want to know. I cannot imagine. You bring a child into the world and love them unconditionally all of their life........breaks my heart every day. All I can do is do what my Mom did- raise my children to the best of my ability and hope for the best. I know how proud they would be....this has been hard....I want to experience my wonderful life with my Family put back together. I know they can feel it. Mom would be the same way. She is the only person that would understand why I feel the way I do. She wouldn't just keep saying, but keep going, be strong- she would admit, agree, sympathize that this is the pits. I think only Moms can do that....I know its not possible, as my therapist confirmed, but I seriously think now, Moms solve all of our life's problems. I really believe they are capable of that. But you only realize until you are a Mother yourself and much older. Elle won't believe this until I am long gone....Mothers are pretty powerful and I was lucky to have such a great one. (and barely had a wrinkle on her at age 50....)- she was special.

Cannot wait to meet my Son. A BOY?! Wow......