Sunday, September 12, 2010

lonely heart



Miss Elle's almost 20 MONTHS! (I continue to say she's 18 months when people ask......) She can now play the piano (OK, so she can hit some keys on this cute piano we have in our neighborhood) and she can hang from a bar in gymnastics class (OK, while the instructor holds her up) BUT she's still talented people! (totally kidding)..........she's at a really fun stage. I know we all say this, but this is my favorite stage. They say "love u" and hug you and eat (most of the time) and drink their milk and water BUT they throw tantrums (like today when I took her to the square and someone was playing on HER piano. That was not cool according to her. But I love that I can still rock her. I am so glad I never stopped as it's part of our routine. I read her a book or two, sing a little, pray, and rock her in my Mom's chair for a few minutes and down she goes.......

Not going to lie..........it was a lonely weekend though........I just miss everyone. Ted, my parents, my grandfather at the lake, my aunt-so much has changed, my Sister (she has SO much courage) and my friends (thanks to skype I caught up with two of them today).... My Sister was courageous today and had dinner with my brother. No glass separating them. They ate his favorite foods. I never asked her if she ended up making my Mom's cheesecake that he requested. I don't want to know. It's all too much to handle. Not many people if in her shoes could do this. I still cannot imagine, yet it causes me much discomfort.....I was enjoying my morning walk through our beautiful neighborhood, got my $4 coffee that I love from the farmers market, and chased Elle around the fountain barefoot.........but yet I was still lonely-thinking of everything--why MY brother and MY parents. I am so lucky to live in such a great place as I seriously get anxiety to think if I weren't in a neighborhood like this. I like my freedom and I love how I can walk anywhere.....I'm even venturing out and getting to know people at the end of our street, we've mainly stuck with our end of the the street (we love our neighbors across the street) but with walking Elle so much, I started stopping and chatting and there's so many kids on our street......I even found an interior decorator. Not that I need one or would hire one for my entire house, but I am looking for a few ideas once we open up our floor plan which is hoping to be our Fall project. I need projects. They keep me sane.......
And as much as I enjoyed my entire weekend spent with Elle and especially loved breakfast with her and Ted after her first gymnastics class, I'm oddly enough okay with going to work tomorrow. I like to be around people......BUT, I am hoping for speedy week as a great friend is getting married in Toledo this weekend and it is sure to be an event...........

I miss my loved ones.

With love,
Melissa

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