Sunday, December 6, 2009

Holiday spirit











The second Christmas without Mom, Dad and Justin and it's still just as painful as it was last year. Only now, we have a daughter and while many think that would make it easier, it's actually quite the opposite. I'm saddened they won't be here to see her open her first Christmas gift and everything else that comes along with the Holidays. I don't get to take her to my home for Christmas again this year.... 

It continues to be a struggle for my Sister and I but we continue to move forward and do the things we need to do. While I wouldn't say I have the Christmas spirit, I am doing my best to make sure Elle has a wonderful Christmas even if she really doesn't understand any of this. 
I'm almost forgetting what's it like to say that I love "Christmas time". It used to be my most favorite time of the year and now it has become the most dreaded. I'd do anything for this not to have happened to our family. To be in the midst of Holiday cheer right now, to be gleefully making cookies and happily writing out of my Christmas cards....I'd do anything to have that Christmas spirit back. Just when I think I could get it, I think of the nightmare and think of my brother also being so alone. 

Elle continues to make our days merry and bright....and it's so hard to believe she has been in our lives for almost a year already.....
Elle helped Daddy put the very first ornament on the tree and it happened to read, baby's 1st Christmas 1979. My ornament from 30 years ago....


Missing you Mom, Dad and Grandpa and wishing you were here. 

Merry Christmas everyone...


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What wonderful pictures. It still must be so hard....
I hope you have support from the people around you!
Because us strangers out here are thinking of you during the Holidays and knowing how much you'll be wishing your family was around. I can't even imagine. You are so strong.

Take care, Melissa.