our princess

So, we're taking a leap of faith and going forward with the ear tube surgery Friday morning. 

I am frightened by the thought of anesthesia and I so appreciate the wonderful emails I have gotten and advice from friends and family. I very much appreciated an email from a Stranger that I received- who was a connection to friends of my Mom and Dad. She wrote to me just her experience with tubes with her children and said how she simply did what the doctor told her to do but how she couldn't imagine what I go through making decisions like this that are fairly easy to others because they don't even think of the worst that could happen. Thank you for trying to understand. That's just it. With losing the two most important people in the World so tragically, along with my brother who is only 18 months younger than I, a 10 minute procedure under general anaesthesia makes me very uneasy. You are fearful of losing someone else. My Sister has this fear too. In a blink of an eye, they were gone.

I don't like risks except for in business. I know the risks are small and can't help but think there are babies going under for emergency purposes who don't have the time I have had to make the decision. They are fighting for their life and have no choice. An old co-worker of mine has a 5 year old  who is fighting cancer and going through chemo. He has no choice. I fully get that there are bigger and scarier things then a ear tube procedure and we just pray when she quickly goes under that she'll wake up and we'll run in and give her a big hug. And I might just need to take her shopping Friday afternoon if she's up for it. She loves baby Gap.........

Thank you for watching over us and shining down on Elle Friday morning. 

I'm scared Mommy, but we'll be okay. We miss you both so much! 

Thanks to my friends, family and readers for listening to me. (I will follow my heart like you said Nicky!)