When I get where I'm going

Tonight just sucks. Mom and Dad died 4 months ago today.

Of course I had to listen to this really beautifully written, incredibly sad song that my friend gave to me which was a part of a book. It's a song called "When I get where I'm going" By Brad Paisley & Dolly Parton. It's all about the journey of life and what pain-free, stress-free lives we will live once we get to our final destination and how there will only be tears of happiness. And how we will tell our loved ones that passed how much we've missed them and how we'll get to hug them again. Oh how I would do anything to hug my Mom and Dad. I just hate the fact that I cannot do that any longer. Never again while I am here on Earth. It's so painful to sit here and picture life without them. Nothing seems as special or as exciting. How I miss the phone calls, after a baseball game tonight I was sitting up in Ted's office. I really don't watch TV anymore and I tend to read quite a bit, but it was quiet and I really wanted nothing more then to call my Mother. Just to chat, complain, plan my Baby shower, talk to her about Christina's birthday dinner that I planned for Saturday or yell about Christina who got into another car accident yesterday on her way to daycare (she is okay, she suffered from a slight concussion) but her car needless to say, is totalled. She will be in a rental car until it's fixed.

This weekend I will spend with my Sister and nephew Aydan. I know it will also be a hard birthday for her to celebrate. That is why I will make certain her day is special with some Family and Friends, good food and wine and fun gifts and a super fun cake that I can't wait to present to her!

All I know is when I get where I'm going and I see my Mom and Dad standing before my eyes, I am not sure I will ever let go of them..... But then again, they say it's only happiness in Heaven so perhaps I will lose sight of the pain I felt here on Earth and I will only be filled with excitement when I see them again.

Until then...

I am....

"Driven by dreams, fueled by hope, sparked by curiosity, tested by adversity, shaped by experience and sustained by FAITH". ~Brad Paisley