missing friends

Rough few days emotionally, I miss my friends who live all over the place but I am thankful we all make such an effort to see everyone whenever possible...vacations, weekend trips, or over dinner....anyway to spend time with each other and see our children together too. I have great friends from Pennsylvania, Michigan, Arizona, Washington DC, Paris, and so many other places. I am confident through these last three years; the joyful and tearful times- I wouldn't have gotten through them without my friends. There's no competition, jealousy, just love, support and happiness for one another. I am so thankful. It's funny, when I think about my week and that it was rough......it had nothing to do with work (work's great) or being a pregnant Mommy or anything like that which would normally a cause for a stressful week- its stress about people I care about that are hurting and I can't help either one of them. I miss one of them very much and I pray one day they will return to the person they used to be. I can't bring my Mom and Dad back but I feel this pressure to keep their entire Family together. But I know I cannot fix anyone or take responsibility and make them happy. My Sister and I are not capable of this.

Minus the sadness of our family tragedy, I am by far one of the luckiest people alive. Funny how that worked out. Thank god I am blessed in other ways through my daughter, my healthy pregnancy, my career, our beautiful home, the adventures we have been on, the childhood I experienced, and as I have mentioned above, my friendships......I will invest in them until the day I die....you get let down at times but you know they will be there when it really counts. That is the gift of friendship.

Enjoyed a few sips of REAL red wine this evening, ate a great meal and dessert...and looking forward to the gym tomorrow morning and a birthday party for miss Elle's friend Mia. We joined a catholic church down the street from us. I have been before with my Aunt when in town- we cry......we are going as a Family Sunday- Ted, Elle and I. We want to get the baby boy baptized here as a Catholic (well, mainly it was important to me) so we are going to check it out and see if we feel comfortable. The smell instantly reminds me of my childhood and going every Sunday with my Family but I also think of my Parents funeral. Flowers and the smell of a catholic church instantly brings that day back....but I want to get through it....