a new life

I am overjoyed for one of my best friends in the entire world- who welcomed a healthy baby boy in the wee hours of 2:30am......she kept the gender a surprise so they were thrilled to welcome a boy to their female dominated home. 

It's amazing how much time has flown by since the days of Nicky and I living together at Western Michigan University or hugging her goodbye when we lived together in Chicago when I left for Boston to be with Ted after we got married. We've been through so much together; College, big city living and truly living it up, hanging with my Mom and dancing the night away when she came to visit us in Chicago, we stood up in each other's weddings, enjoyed countless girls weekends, vacations and visits, I flew to PA to meet her new little gal, she flew to my side when my parents died, celebrated the upcoming arrival of my daughter at my baby shower, we took our first family vacation together in the Keys, and now I will get to welcome her latest addition when I head to the NY area next month over Thanksgiving. 

It was interesting, after I sent her a text telling her she deserves to eat every last bite of pumpkin pie us girls had sent to her hospital room, I saw a card sticking out of a magazine with all of my mail that has been piling up for a few days....I pulled it out, opened it up and it was a beautiful  sympathy card with such caring words for the passing of my Grandfather and for reliving such unpleasant memories, from Nicky.  A wonderful man who lived a full life says goodbye to the world and then God introduces another beautiful boy.....if only the circle of life was always this beautiful. This is the way it should be. Someone was ready to leave and someone was ready to come....... 

Praying you get some rest these next few days Nicky! 

All my love and congrats, (we have really grown up haven't we?) 

Melissa

leaves

My Mom's favorite pictures to take of us kids were during the Fall, in leaves . She has some of them in frames up at the lake with our little heads sticking out and then I know she did the same with Aydan. She loved the Fall so much and I'm becoming more and more like her or now I'm paying attention and realizing why I do certain things and who I have learned them from.

This weekend was finally a relaxing Fall weekend at home. Weather was beautiful today-I admired the changing trees and all of the people jogging, shopping and walking around Hyde Park Square. Elle and I of course headed up to the market today, one more weekend left and it's gone for the Winter, while Ted set up her funky new highchair (thank you, Erin.. well and Tori Spelling..). This market is one of the main reasons why I love living in this area. Sometimes all I buy is a latte and like today, homemade cookies from this really yummy bakery, but I basically go to walk around and look at all of the fun stuff. It's like the "place to be" on Sundays. Well, in Hyde Park anyway. Last night we spent several hours at our neighbors house watching football and drinking pumpkin ale. Elle Bell enjoyed Trey's new bouncer they had just set up. Apparently she wanted to break it in for him.......Friday evening we took our chances and took Elle to a nice Japanese restaurant with another couple. We weren't sure how this would go...but every 5 minutes I would break out a new toy or "thing" to occupy her. She did very well. I was even able to finish my food and entire glass of wine. But by 8:15, you could tell she was getting tired and luckily we live only a few minutes away, we still managed to put her down only a few minutes past her bedtime. See, you can still have a social life with babies. You just go home a little earlier.....

Traveling to Portland, Oregon for the week........another long flight and more time away from my Family. Looking forward to Halloween next weekend, one of Mom's most favorite days- my childhood neighborhood was the place for the ultimate trick-or-treating and we had the corner house and got the most trick or treaters..... Wish we had some family here visiting to see Elle bell as a little "piggy" but we are planning on hosting a little get together so we can get pics with the kids and take them around the neighborhood and have some food, drinks and of course candy . Elle's first Halloween! I wish you were here Mom and Dad.

there's no place like home

"there's no place like home" was the theme of what I said when getting up in front of my Grandfather's funeral to say a few things. During the visiting hours, a few of us stood up and talked...memories about Grandpa. 

Throughout my life, Grandpa was known for saying this-"there's no place like home". He hated to leave his home. Even before Gramma passed, he'd prefer to be at home but he would come to the lake to spend weekends with us and now looking back-wow how tough that was for him especially since my Gramma was in a wheelchair suffering from MS. But with a kind smile on her face and a heart of gold. "She took the expressway to heaven", said my Aunt Diann while giving the eulogy today. 

So, I moved around quite a bit after college; Chicago, Boston and then Cincinnati. Loving all of the new adventures.....and when I would stop by Grandpa's house when I was home I'd ask him about his visits up north or to Atlanta to see Aunt Diann or what not, and his usual reply was, "there's no place like home". 

It wasn't until after my parents passed and then recently while on our trip to Europe that I found this to be so true and finally understood what my Grandfather meant. There is truly no place like home-comfort, stability, warmth and love. I'd give anything to go "home" these days. To be hugged and loved without being judged and to have that feeling again when your parents are so proud of something you've done. The unconditional love you get when you're at home is just priceless. It's something I miss everyday. I want to share Elle with my Parents and Grandparents, who've known me all of my life. 

We had a fabulous time on our European trip- truly days I will never forget but it's funny there would be moments where I was homesick. Homesick to phone Mom and Dad to tell them about what we saw for the day, homesick to hold my Daughter and homesick just to be home. 

I thanked my Grandfather for saying something so simple to me repeatedly and now that he is gone I hold that saying so near and dear to my heart and Grandpa, I couldn't agree with you more, "there's no place like home....12th street for you and Meyer Avenue for me". But I pray that now my Parents, you and Grams are sitting around up there, happy and relaxed and saying out loud, "there's no place like THIS home......".  Well, you're home for good now Grandpa...........give them the biggest hug for me would ya? 

These last two days brought back terrible memories and it made it very difficult to celebrate the 90 years my Grandfather lived. But I know he understands.........I needed them here for this.

Thank you again to my family and friends for being there for us........flowers, bringing food, calling, emails....thank you. As sad as this post makes me, I had to uplift it somewhat with pictures of Elle. She brightens our days and lots of friends and family got to hold her these last few days. (Aunt Christina, Auntie Ray, Uncle Josh and great Aunt Kim...just to name a few...)

rest in peace Grandpa

Our angels are waiting for you. We love you. 

Please help our family get through next week. same funeral home. same church. same family. 

Mom and Dad were suppose to be here for this. 

smiles

If life was always this happy, this full of smiles, for no reason other than just being with the people you love.... 

Elle will be 9 months old in a few days and wow what a blessing she has been. I sometimes think of what my life would have been like had she not entered our lives when she did. Not sure I ever want to know.....

Your granddaughter puts a smile on our face everyday and we wish more then anything you were here, smiling along with us. 

Ireland brief

Ireland was beautiful and very, very friendly.  

Ireland is one of the places that is hard to describe. By looking at the Paris photos you can clearly see the amazing food and wine, you can sort of get a feel for the amazing restaurants and scenery and the amazing sites such as the Eiffel tower and how one might feel when you first lay your eyes on such a thing. With Ireland,  the pictures don't show you the endless amounts of greenery and the trees and the sheep that are all the way up the mountaintop and all of the lakes and how pouring a Guinness in Ireland is an art and that Irish music- I never thought I would love listening to an Irish band as much as I did. I even bought a cd. And had the singer signed it. It was really upbeat and everyone basically claps their hands and cheers and I love the accordion and violin. Such beautiful sounds. We were all smiles listening to the  music with drink in hand and fun people around us. 

I don't want to stop talking about this trip as it's me facing reality that the trip is over! 

I wanted to come home to see Elle of course- we missed her sooooo much. In fact, we were ready to come home but everything stayed the same while gone. Gramps has forever changed into a new phase of his life, my Parents didn't come back and my brother is still in a facility and I have no idea how he's doing, the lake house has to be shut down, and the Holidays are approaching and I am sad yet excited to spend Elle's first Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas together as a family and with the family I do have. 

My Aunt and I were chatting today. When, why and how does this get better we said. It's always something. She was at the hospital for a procedure and it happened to be where my Mother died. Then her nurse read her emergency contact info and it was my Mother, they said her name and read her address. My Aunt burst into tears. This kind of stuff will continue to come up. 

They were everything to so many people and some of us just simply can't let it go. I am not sure who could. I think of my friends, other relatives, and sometimes even co-workers and I think for the most part, I am doing okay, what should I expect? I have really, really good days but then those bad days come and they suck. They suck the life right out of  you, but only for a few moments. I catch my breathe, say cheese and smile for the camera.

Wasn't this post suppose to be all about Ireland? yeah, well I tend to go off the beaten path at times....so typical of me. 

Little Elle Bell had a great day today at her first official week back. Yesterday we had an interesting end to our weekend with vomiting.....she caught a bug that had been going around. She was funny though. She would throw up, smile and go on with her task. Babies are funny like that- so resilient. (is that spelled right? ha..)

eating in Paris

Sorry, more on Paris. I guess I will have to tell you about Ireland later. (can you tell which place I loved more?) Ireland was beautiful but Paris had me at the croissant in the morning (thanks Carolyn!)

Everyone knows I love desserts. I get this from my Mom. She made em' and ate em'. She was the best baker and always, always had chocolate in her purse. I have always loved sweets and this multiplied when I was pregnant. So naturally when visiting Paris,  I had to stop off at the best ice cream place in the World, so they claim. I think they were right. The chocolate ice cream honestly tasted like truffles. And we noshed on our cones while people watching by the Seine. 

My second favorite dessert was at this adorable cafe that is well known in Paris- Angelina. They are known for their Mont Blanc dessert. This is very hard to describe but it was smooth and hazlenutty if you will. I love good food and I especially love fine desserts. Paris was the place for this and one of my most favorite parts of the visit was trying different restaurants and cafes. So much fun. 

More pics of Paris

Too tired to write much but wanted to share some more of our pictures from Paris! 

-Ted and I in the champagne region of France at one of the champagne houses

-Carolyn, Jess and I enjoying champagne cocktails at a trendy Paris bar

-Me in front of the Eiffel tower- it was SO massive and stunning

-Ted and I in front of the beautiful, Notre Dame

We are back home in Cincinnati adjusting back to normal life. Being a Mom and Dad. Elle is adjusting too. She spent 2 fun weeks with Gramma and Grampa Close and is getting used to us and her home again. It was a long time to be away from Elle and we are very fortunate we have Ted's parents to watch her. I feel bad we have no one else to help them, you guys would have helped,  but I know they enjoyed it. Most grandparents would- I know how much you loved watching Aydan at this age. He envied his Gamma and Papa. What a great thing. 

I will definitely post more pictures this weekend of Ireland. I passed Hard Rock Cafe of Dublin. I couldn't stop. I wanted to add to your collection Dad to eventually display up north but I couldn't do it. I thought of you though, and was bummed. 

So my sadness and hurt did not disappear but I have such amazing memories of two beautiful places and it's really nice to look back at these pictures to see me smile. I can still have a good time and appreciate all that life has to offer, as difficult as it is sometimes. 

xoxo, 

Melissa

Day 10

We are on our last night- now in Dublin, Ireland. Exhausted.....but enjoyed a quick day in the city after a relaxing time in Ireland's countryside.

We downloaded some of our pics from our Paris trip. Here is a sneak peak........

Ted and I on the boat cruise along the Seine through Paris- such a gorgeous night with our friends and Tom & Jess. Me with my most favorite purchase- a Hermes scarf in front of the flagship store. And then Ted and I posed on the most grand boulevard in the world- the Champs Elysees.

I sigh with relief that we are going home tomorrow to be reunited with our daughter but also dread the long day of travel ahead of us. Tomorrow is also Mom and Dad's anniversary, would have been 32 loving years. I thought of you Dad.....we walked by Hard Rock Cafe of Dublin. I miss you both dearly.

What a trip, a trip of a lifetime ........but I am excited to go home.

Farewell,

Melissa

day 9

Today was probably my most relaxing day. All to myself. I slept in till 9am (Ted left for golf at 7am), grabbed breakfast and coffee around 10am, then headed to the spa for a few hours. I sat in these heated seats overlooking the lakes in my big comfy robe, while sipping on some tea. I'm in Ireland!

I had my very first facial which was awesome. I came back to my hotel room to shower and then grabbed my book and made my way to the chic hotel bar and restaurant. I was craving simple food which I hadn't had much of lately. I ordered nachos. It was exactly what I wanted.

Tonight is the farewell reception for the top performers conference. We'll get dressed up and eat amazing food and be served great wine. An Irish band will be playing again.

This has been a wonderful trip spent with Ted's brother and fiance and some of Ted's Farmland Food co-workers and then obviously incredible to have spent time with our friends in Paris. But, I miss my Elle and this has been a really long time away from her. I'm seriously forgetting what it is like to hold and kiss her and change her diaper! I am worried about getting her back on schedule and hoping she'll go back to sleeping through the night.

I think about my Parents daily, wishing they were alive so I could buy them funny little souvenirs from these beautiful places we have been. I had one major crying attack while here and it was at the strangest place and time. But in situations like this, some days it just hits you.
I was sitting at the airport in Paris waiting for our flight to Ireland. I was giddy looking through my pictures and thinking of my beautiful Hermes scarf I had purchased. But then, I pictured my Mother and Father on the porch. My Dad being killed and my Mother seeing what had happened and the fear she must have felt. That kills me every single day. I started to breathe really heavily, almost hyperventilating, and had to excuse myself to the bathroom. I literally had pains in my chest. I think this was an anxiety attack. This happens to my Sister but I never had experienced this that bad. I just don't see how I can ever get past how they died. And the constant wish to talk to them and give them the biggest hug ever, will always be on my mind.
They would be so proud though. Proud of my travels and my new life as a Mother and how I try everyday to be closer and closer to my Family- their fathers and siblings....

I am really lucky to have experienced these beautiful places. I will always love to travel and I look forward to many more adventures throughout my life with my family and friends.

Lots of love,
Melissa

day 8

The weather is gorgeous in Ireland today. Clear as ever and even some sun too. Ted and I took a jaunting cart through a park today along the lakes to a castle and through the beautiful town of Kilarney. The Irish are such nice people. The views are breathtaking.

We went shopping today and stopped for a pint of Guinness in a small, quaint Irish pub.

We are tired from last night. We danced the night away to an amazing Irish band over traditional Irish food and plenty of wine and beer.

Tonight is dinner at our leisure and we'll gather with a group and head into town for more dinner and drinks. Tomorrow is my spa day. The Spa at Hotel Europe is gorgeous and I am getting a facial and a massage. Then plan to relax in the heated seats overlooking the infinite pool into the lake.

We miss Elle Bell and our Family but this portion of our trip has been very relaxing. As we were jaunting through this gorgeous park looking at the mountains and lakes ahead, I had to say to myself -wow, we are in Ireland....pretty cool...

day 7

I already miss the beauty of Paris but Ireland is beautiful in a different way. The hotel we are staying at is magnificent! We danced and clapped to an Irish band last night and today took a tour up the highest peak in Ireland via horse! Then a 2 hour boat ride through the lakes of Kilarney, yes through the rain, but it was such the Ireland experience! Much different then the boat cruise along the seine while sipping champagne...this was very rustic. It was cool.

We came back to our hotel, a little chilly, only to be greeted with irish coffees. Tonight is irish pub night. traditional irish food and beer.......fun fun!

day 5

It's hard to believe we are already saying goodbye to our good friends and the city of Paris.....

Our last evening was spent gazing at the Eifle Tower on the hour to watch it "twinkle" and then we headed over to a "cafe" for one last lovely meal. Bottles of chablis were flowing and wonderful French food was eaten. I loved eating dinners in Paris- it was one of my most favorite things about the visit. I love the coziness in the resturant and the fact that you cannot have dinner in less than 2 hours.

Ted and I spent several hours yesterday at the Lourve and yes, saw the Mona Lisa. My favorite site was Napolean's apartment. Unreal. We then walked through the touleries one last time- I love the trees that line the path.....it's just so pretty. We enjoyed lunch at a known place called Angelinas and split their famous dessert- Mont Blanc.

Goodbye Paris, hello Ireland!!!